and the verdict is...

I did NOT throw the scale down the stairs.

Because... I broke the stall! Smashed it! Obliterated! Buh-bye now!

More later. I am quite happy about this latest development, as you can imagine.

shoot that poison arrow through my hearrrrrt...

Who's got two thumbs and gets random 80s songs stuck in her head? THIS CHICK! See subject line if you don't follow.

I'm sure you were all on the edge of your seats waiting for an update, but the big handout for the big conference? DONE. I emailed it off with ten minutes to spare! Go me!!! The problem is that now I'm going to have to come up with other things to say during my talk, because all the best stuff is in the handout. I'll have to crack a few jokes, too. The librarians ate that up at my last gig.

Now that I've become quite a Zumba and Step regular at the gym, I have a few gym friends, which I do appreciate, and then there are other people who, since they see me a few times a week, feel familiar enough to chat with me before and after class. Sometimes these conversations happen when I'm in the locker room and shirtless, but apparently this is what you do at the gym. I have to say, a lot of the conversations are of the sort that I previously had thought only happened in commercials for tampons and yogurt. Except those commercials never involve shirtless women in locker rooms. Maybe they'd move more product if they had them.

I've been doing these classes for about six months, so my gym pals are of course noticing that I've lost weight. Sometimes that makes for awkward conversation, too. They'll compliment me, I'll say "thank you, I'm working hard", then sometimes they'll ask how much. Do I have to answer that? Do I have to specify that I had surgery? While I do think it's good to get the word out about how fabulous bariatric surgery can be, sometimes I just don't feel like having that conversation. Other times, I totally get off on the wide-eyed reaction I get when I say just how much I've lost. I have a lot of surgery friends whose surgery is a very closely-guarded secret but I feel like the further out I get and the more weight I lose, the less of a need I feel to hide it from anyone. It's not like I could hide the fact that I was clinically super morbidly obese. And it's not like I can hide the weight loss. Besides, I am proud of what I've done.

And now, on a semi-related note, I just heard the washer stop, so I need to put my gym clothes in the dryer and get to bed. Then tomorrow I can wake up and do it all over again. G'night!

pancakes in the age of enlightenment

Things You Would Have Thought About Today If You Were Me, Which You're Not, But If You Were:

- I discovered that my cat likes ricotta. She begged and begged for some until finally I gave it to her. I wonder if this is common for cats from Long Island.

- I have to write a handout for a talk I'm giving at a conference next month. It's due soon. The handout is not coming along very well. But the procrastination? Oh, that's coming along very VERY well! Thanks for asking!

- I am trying to think of what I would scream if I do in fact end up throwing my scale down the front steps. At first I was thinking along the lines of "You don't get to decide!" but that was too vague, so then I figured I'd go with something more like "You're not God! You're a scale!" similar to the whole "You're a doorman! Doorman! DOORMAN!" line during one of my favorite scenes in "Knocked Up". That would be the whole "You old, she pregnant" scene, natch.

- I need to get myself, um, "out there" but I still keep saying I'm just not ready for further punishment yet. I can't decide if I'm being a cynic or skeptic. Perhaps both. Or maybe I've got a whole committee of cynics and skeptics chattering. No wonder I'm sheepish.


That's enough thinking for one day. Good night, people.

almost that time again...

So, while it's been somewhat liberating not obsessing over what the scale says this past month, I am very much looking forward to hopping onto it once again later this week. Hopefully, the God-awful stall will have broken and I will see a lower number. Either that or I'm throwin' the bitch down my front steps.

Earlier today I went to Zumba. (798 calories burned, 1 hour of cardio. Jealous? You should be!) After class the instructor told me that she loves that she knows she can look over at me during class and I'll have a smile on my face. I said that's because it makes me OMG SO HAPPY that I can actually do something like a Zumba class. A little over a year ago, that would have been as likely as my walking on the moon, and now, I not only can do the Zumba, but I kick ass at it.

This got me thinking. This whole weight-loss thing really is about more than just numbers for me. I think I knew that before, but maybe I just didn't know that I knew it. It's nice to be able to say how many pounds I've lost, but it's also important to be mindful of other changes that have happened. So I'm making a list of all the fabulousness. If there's anything I've forgotten, be a lamb and tell me in the comments.


Fabulous Things I Now Have In My Life:

- I feel great and have more energy than I've had in years.
- I take fewer meds for fewer health conditions. I'm going to save $1,000 on prescription copays this year alone. That's like three new Coach bags!
- I can do Zumba, Roger's Step class, Body Pump, Power, and just about any other class I want to do. And I kick ass at them.
- I actually have the stamina for one hour of cardio every day. And if I don't get that one hour I miss it.
- A lot more choices in buying clothes. Then again, I also find the array of choices overwhelming. I am missing the shopping chromosome.
- I can walk and walk all day and not feel like I want to collapse and die. I walked all over Universal Orlando on a 95 degree day and still had energy to go out that night on the town.


I'm sure there are more but this is an excellent start. I've really got quite a bit of the fabulous!

nablopomo fail?

Oh no, not a fail! I totally wrote this on Friday! Blogger was being weird and wouldn't publish. Probably because everyone else was writing their NaBloPoMo and they were all "Ugh, that Lesleygirl again? She can wait!"

My vivid yet strange dreams are continuing. And once again, I feel like sharing. Unfortunately, this time, no sexing with the Batman. I know. I'm as disappointed as you are, believe me.

Two nights ago, I dreamed I was back at Certain Graduate School (hmm... this may qualify as a nightmare!) but I was the age I am now so I guess I had quit my job and gone back there. Apparently, in my dreams I smoke crack. Anyway, I was at the library of Certain Graduate School and someone stole my very snazzy MacBook Pro laptop! I was, of course, crushed but then the former president of Certain Graduate School felt sorry for me and told me he'd buy me a new one, so off we went to the Apple Store. Let's call the former president DT, since those are his initials and all. In my dream this was at the Rosedale Mall, and when we got there we walked by a karaoke bar in the mall and DT insisted that we go in. I can't remember what we sang, but eventually we made our way to the Apple Store where my new laptop was purchased. The main thing I remember about the dream was that DT dropped a truly astonishing number of f-bombs. I never knew he had it in him, really.

Last night's dream was even more exciting because in that dream? Clementine could talk! And I kept thinking "HOLY SHIT, I HAVE A TALKING CAT!" I mean, sometimes she looks like she has something to say and she's quite conversational, but I didn't think she'd ever speak! The things she said to me in my dream were pretty much like the things I imagine she says now. Things like "Human, feed me!" and "Birds! Squirrels! On my turf!" I woke up and alas, she doesn't talk like she did in my dream, but I have to say that with all her kitty noises, it wouldn't surprise me if she figures out some English one of these days. Stay tuned for further developments.

That's all for now. I'm starting to hate the NaBloPoMo.

thursday minimum blog requirement

Good news, kids. I made it to the end of the work week (Friday off, woo!!!) and, the demo for Really Big Work Project went very well. I can't ask for better than that.

However, after this week I am un-effing-believably tired, so alas, I must sleep. Come back tomorrow. Same Lesley time, same Lesley channel.

don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past...

Feeling another notch toward "better" today, kids. I'm starting to think that maybe this whole feeling bad about how far I have to go is just part of the process. However, it doesn't have to define the process. And now I'm going to stop using the word "process."

You see, I like to imagine my whole weight-loss journey taking place like an 80's-movie-style montage, and the point I'm at now would be where we see our hero struggling and we wonder if she's going to make it after all, and then BAM! Key change! Cue the "Rocky" theme! And the riff of "The Final Countdown"! Oh hell, throw in "Eye of the Tiger" too!

And so the hero battles on. My huge work project is winding down this week and today involved a lot of scrambling around for yours truly. Throughout the workday I found myself thinking "I really can't wait to get to the gym!" and when I realized this I thought "whoa... the what and the who now?" I worried before surgery how I'd deal with stress after surgery, and well people, I think I've found my way. Believe me, not that long ago I would have spent a stressful day at work counting the minutes until I could go home, order takeout, and curl up on the couch with some Ben & Jerry's. Tonight, instead of all that, I went to the gym for my one hour of cardio (woo hoo!), then swung by Trader Joe's, went home and cooked a nutritious yet savory dinner, and felt about a million times better than I would have had I stuck with the whole take-out/ice cream/veg out trifecta. Baby steps and all that, but sometimes those baby steps have huge results. I should remember that.

Now you must excuse me, but our hero needs some sleep. Cue some inspirational sleeping music.

shake it all the time...

Wow. I just have no words for this. Apparently, this is a hot new workout. For men.



I could be wrong, but I'm guessing there are a lot of men who'd be very good at this. I'm just saying. But alas, since I'm a woman, this is not for me, so I guess I'll just have to stick with the Zumba and Step.

Lesleygirl out!

i don't care if monday's blue...

I'm still feeling a little out-of-sorts but somewhat better. Maybe getting my fight back, who knows. A big, BIG thank-you to those of you who left supportive comments or sent nice emails. I do appreciate it.

How about a list?

A Day in the Life of Seymour, My Pouch:

6:45 am: Chocolate protein made with hot water. A nice hot chocolate to start Seymour's (and my) day.

10:50 am: An ounce of Cabot cheddar, nibbled at my desk before attending the annual benefits open enrollment meeting. A meeting at which cookies were served. Nice move, HR, serving cookies while discussing our HEALTH PLANS of all things. No cookies for me, though. They're bad for Seymour (and me).

1:15 pm: I am probably one of the few people in the whole world that can say this, but I just bought lunch at Whole Foods for less than $5. A piece of chicken (around 4 oz) and a couple tablespoons of quinoa, both from the hot bar. I couldn't finish it so it's now in the fridge at work.

4:00 pm: Half a McIntosh apple and half a Rockin' Roll bar. OMG BEST SNACK DISCOVERY. The Rockin' Roll bar tastes just like a Payday bar, except it's a protein bar with no sugar and lots of, well, protein. Adding in the apple makes it taste like a peanut caramel apple. Nom nom nom...

6:45 pm: The other half of the apple and the other half of the bar, nibbled on the way to Zumba.

8:15 pm: An ounce of Cabot cheddar, on the way home from Zumba.

8:45 pm: Half a cup of turkey chili, with a little cheese on top and some Greek yogurt as a sour cream sub. Soooooo good.

11:45 pm (approximately): There is some homemade mascarpone ice cream that I made yesterday in the freezer with my name on it. Actually, don't tell but I used ricotta. I also added some sugar-free vanilla syrup and some pistachios. A little protein boost before bed.

Fascinating, I know, right? I didn't mention it, but there was also some coffee, water, sugar-free lemonade, diluted Powerade Zero, and hot Wild Sweet Orange tea in Seymour's day as well. Not to mention multivitamins, calcium citrate, iron, probiotics, and special appearances by vitamins D and B12.

And... scene!

sometimes i give myself the creeps...

Oh me. I'm feeling all out-of-sorts tonight, people. I have no idea why, but it hit me yesterday sometime between noon and 4:00 pm and it's still with me. I was at a support group meeting (I am one of the volunteer leaders, and for part of the time I was there led a group for people who are 0 to 3 months out from surgery) and for whatever reason, I left there feeling like my cup was empty.

I am feeling bad about how far I still have to go to get to my weight-loss goal. I don't feel comforted at all thinking of how far I've come, instead I feel awful and ashamed and just so mad at myself that I started out where I did. I hate that I go to support groups and hear people say things like "I was just so HUGE!" knowing full well that the "huge" they are referring to is around the same weight that I am right now, and I hate that I hear that and immediately think "Good God, what do they think I am?" For added fun, this weekend someone actually asked "How did you ever get to be that weight?" It seems clear that my surgery center is specializing in lightweights (and I have written about the heavyweight vs. lightweight issue before) and I am in the minority, and sometimes it's a very lonely minority to be in.

Now, lest you worry, I am not feeling discouraged. I'm not contemplating quitting the gym and reintroducing carbs back into my diet. Nothing like that. I'll keep going, and I'm sure that soon (tomorrow?) I'll be feeling good about things again. I guess this journey (ugh, hate that word) ain't all sunshine and roses, and tonight I felt like sharing that. Just keeping it real and all. Good night.

saturday MBR

MBR = minimum blog requirement. Yes, this counts. One of my favorite songs (Distant Sun) by one of my favorite bands (Crowded House), here covered by another one of my favorite bands (Barenaked Ladies). Love it!



I would say more about who this song makes me think of, but well, I need to just build a bridge and then GET OVER IT. Besides, this song actually makes me feel all sorts of hopeful about the future.

Good night.

fabulous friday

Ever have one of those weeks when you get to the end of it and tell yourself "Wow, I survived this week, I can do ANYTHING"? Seriously, ever have one of those? Well, I certainly did. And yes, I can now do anything. To prove my point (to myself more than anyone else), tonight at the gym I doubled-up on classes, which I've never done before. One hour of Zumba, followed by one hour of Body Pump. I'm feeling pretty good about it, too. I can do anything!

And tonight, after this long week, the "anything" that I want to do involves my DVR, my Slanket, an orange kitteh, and a big mug of tea. Good night, people.

remember, remember, the fifth of november...

The gunpowder treason and plot!

Actually, I have more reasons than just Guy Fawkes to remember, remember the fifth of November. You see, it was seven years ago today that I first walked through the doors of Startup-dot-org. Seven years, people. That means all my cells have regenerated once in that time, and clearly, I'm no longer the woman I was at the time. To say the least. This day also begins the one month countdown to the Most Sacred Festival of Lesleymas. Please shop accordingly.

Today also marked a big, huge deadline for a big, huge project I'm managing, and from what I gather, everything went well. There are rumors that I have promised to celebrate by skipping around the office and throwing confetti but I can neither confirm nor deny such rumors, except to comment that perhaps such a promise was made when a certain person didn't expect this day to go so well. On a totally unrelated note, do any of you happen to know where one purchases confetti?

Things I Decided Were True Just This Week:

1. If there is in fact a better cheese in this world than Jarlsburg, people, I do NOT need to know about it. I eat at least an ounce of it every day, and lucky for me, the Shoprite sells big chunks of it on the cheap. Last time I was there I noticed that underneath the chunks, they had a whole wheel of it on display. Ooh... I wonder how much for the whole wheel? And where could I store such a quantity of cheese at Chez Lesleygirl?

2. There is no better apple than the McIntosh. I've tried lots of others but found most of them to be either mealy or way too sweet. Give me a crisp, tart McIntosh any day over mealy and sweet. Also, all sweets are back to being completely blech to me.

3. The next time a guy describes his ex as "psycho" I'm going to conclude that he probably says that about all of his exes. And then I'm going to wonder what he did to cause the supposedly psycho behavior. I have my reasons. Let's not get into them now.

4. When there's a big meeting at work involving the entire office, whoever is sitting next to me will be wearing enough cheap and nasty perfume to kill an asthmatic. This asthmatic did survive this week's attack, but it caused me my first wheezing incident in about three months, and after having gone that long without using my rescue inhaler, using it again made my knees shake and my chest pound. Nice, right?


That's enough things that are true. It's been a busy week, as you can imagine.

wordless wednesday

I'm going to break the Wordless Wednesday rules just to say:
GO YANKEES! GO NEW YORK, GO NEW YORK, GO!!!

That's all.

tell it to ya tuesday

It's Tuesday. And since I'm sure that pretty much nothing could top the awesome that was yesterday's blog, I'm just going to tell yas some things.

1. I have become extremely lazy when it comes to cooking. This is new. Normally I like to cook, but lately I've been feeling like "Meh, I don't really want to eat, so I really don't want to cook" and then eating a dinner consisting of half a McIntosh apple and a hunk of Jarlsburg cheese.

2. I'm really not concerned about the not wanting to eat. I haven't had much of an appetite since my surgery, and while that feeling lasts, I'm okay with it. After what felt like 35 years of being completely preoccupied with food, it's nice to have a break.

3. Zumba tonight was all sorts of awesome, in part because before the class started Zumba Instructor told me I look fabulous. Awwww! Actually, I've been hearing that a lot this week. I'm not sure if it's more than other weeks, but I think the fact that I put away my scale and tried to put my recent stall out of my head has actually made it easier to hear, and more importantly believe, when people tell me such things, rather than thinking "yeah, I may look fabulous but the scale hasn't moved in four weeks and I'm never ever going to lose another pound again." No, I'm not neurotic about this. Not at all.

4. I unfriended someone on Facebook today for fomenting a discussion on her status message which led to a bunch of people bashing my state. Mind you, these were people who have never even been here. Perhaps I could tolerate such things if I hadn't spent five years in the upper midwest hearing how evil my state is, both the one I live in now, and the one in which I was born. They also made fun of my accent a lot too, which is also not cool. My accent is cool. And my state ROCKS.

5. I voted today, since I do try to be a good citizen and do my civic duty. I wasn't too jazzed about either of the candidates, and I'm actually shocked that the race went the way it did. The current governor isn't popular by any stretch of the imagination, but he's a kajillionaire and he had some major union endorsements, so I figured he'd win. Not sure how I feel about governor-elect. He kinda seems like a tool.

That's enough for now. Day 3 of NaBloPoMo. Keep on rockin' in the free world.

did you know, that when it snows, my eyes blah blah blah can be seen...

You may recognize that song. Wasn't it from one of the Batman movies? I'm too lazy to look it up, but I am fairly certain it's from Batman Forever. Why is that pertinent? Oh, I'll get to that in a minute.

I haven't established a theme for NaBloPoMo, but if I had to pick one tonight it would be something like "oversharing" or "no topic is off limits" or "hey, I have to write 30 blogs in the next 30 days, there isn't much I won't tell you!" Oh lucky lucky you, my lovelies.

I've never put much stock in dream interpretation, and I still don't. Personally, my dreams seem to be mostly influenced by recent life events, and more recently, the nifty fact that my sleep apnea has resolved, allowing me to get lots more quality REM sleep. I also know that a certain medicine I started taking recently can lead to unusual and vivid dreams, and well, I had one recently that was so weird, it just has to be shared.

You see, in my dream, I was back in undergrad, even though I was the same age I am now. One of my classmates wasn't very nice to me at first but then we became friends, and once that friendship was established he revealed to me that he was, in fact, Batman. True story. He even showed me how he transformed into Batman, and interestingly enough, he had a very red, um, Thinker, shall we say, which he showed me. Then he invited me back to the batcave, where we did things. Upside down things.

And yes, I have now revealed that in dreamland, I had sex with Batman. I have officially overshared. NaBloPoMo for the win!!!

and so it begins...

It's November 1st, so you know what that means? NABLOPOMO, my babies!!! One post for every day of the month. God help me.

I got home tonight just in time to write this blog (yay!) and right in time to see the final out of tonight's World Series game (big yay!).

But alas, it's now just about midnight, and yours very truly here must get some sleep so she can get up and go to work tomorrow. So good night, my lovelies. I hope you're looking forward to this NaBloPoMo business as much as I am!

the happy

Okay, people. This is a clandestine blog being written from the workplace. Normally I wouldn't do such things, but today I am preserving my sanity by ANY MEANS NECESSARY and blogging qualifies for that. I mean, you know the day is off to a good start when it's 10:00 AM and you're thinking of calling for back-up. And in my case my back-up would be a little someone named LesleyMom, who could probably settle all the workplace drama in about 5 minutes flat and make sure everyone was on their best behavior. But alas, I don't believe I have that option so I just have to do my Lesley bestest to keep calm and carry on. And to encourage other people to do the same. And above all, I have to STAY POSITIVE.

Thus, the need for the happy. I haven't done this in a while, but I feel like listing some of the things making me happy today! I'm only listing three though, because I may need to do this again tomorrow, and the day after that. And the day after that. And every day until Certain Project is DONE.

So here it is. The happy:

- The meat hand. A meatloaf baked in the shape of a hand. I sooooooo want to make one for Halloween! Not really sure how one would serve such a meatloaf, but who cares, it's cool. I've never actually made a meatloaf, though. This could get interesting.

- I wore a button-down shirt yesterday, and I had worn one last Thursday, too. I can't remember the last time I had done that, but I'm guessing it was easily about 9 years ago. No, seriously, it was. It makes me ridiculously happy that I can do that now. I suppose I could have before, I just didn't bother, but hey, this is making me happy now. OMG, wardrobe options!

- This song. "I Got a Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas. Ordinarily, I am not a fan of feel-good music (or movies or anything) but I can't help but love this song, and I can't sit still when I hear it and I totally have to sing out loud along with it. And, to a certain person reading this who knows who she is, I know this song makes you happy too, and I will be singing it tomorrow and thinking of you!


That's enough happy for now. I feel better already. Come on, get happy!

sontagsabendismus

What's that? Oh it's my word for Sunday Evening Dread**. I hardly ever get the Sunday Evening Dread, but unfortunately this week I've got a fierce case of it. I can't really say why or who's to blame, because hey, I LOVE MY JOB and MY PAYCHECK and MY BENEFITS -- in fact, as you know, I love them all so much that really what I want to do is run into the office tomorrow and hump my chair -- but what I will say is that I am so looking forward to November 5th, and not just because it kicks off the one-month countdown until the Sacred Festival of Lesleymas.

** Notice that it's a German word, which makes it extra scary. Just like all things with German names, like Doppelganger, Angst, Kindergarten, etc.

Other than the Sontagsabendismus, I had a pretty good weekend. You want to know some of what I did? Of course you do! Bulleted list time!!!

- Friday night I went to one of those jewelry parties at the house of a high school friend who I hadn't seen since 1991! Crazy, right? We reconnected on Facebook, natch, and now we're planning some Girls' Nights Out / mini-reunions for the not-too-distant future. I know that some people hate the big reunion aspect of Facebook and would rather leave the past in the past, but for the most part it's been very positive for me. Especially with my recent life events (e.g., gettin' my innards all rerouted, and the subsequent weight loss), it's been nice to have lots of people to socialize with now that I actually feel like being social and have the energy to do so!

- Yesterday I went to a Halloween party, which I'll admit I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to or not, but I was glad I went. The good part was that I got to wear a certain dress I had sewn earlier this year and hadn't gotten around to listing on eBay yet.

- Today, I'll admit I vegged out. I lay like broccoli, I was still like vegetables. I got caught up on a LOT of my DVR-ing which was nice. There were some odd adventures later in the day, but for the most part, it was a nice to relax, catch up on my shows and not clean my house.

- Stall update: the scale is still on the top shelf of my linen closet, and having it out of sight and out of mind has reduced my anxiety by quite a bit, and reduced those feelings of wanting to give up. Maybe I'll just continue ignoring the scale, even after my one month hiatus. Maybe.

Good night, my lovelies.

woke up, got outta bed, dragged a comb across my head...

Oh hey, it's me again! Blogging in the morning! I usually try to blog every weekday but lately I've been just not feelin' it, dawg. Plus, I've decided to do the NaBloPoMo** so I'm saving it for that. I'm sure the official NaBloPoMo people will have some sort of theme they suggest, but their themes usually suck, so I will just do my own thing. Ya know, like I always do.

**National Blog Posting Month. Posting every day in November, that is.

On a completely unrelated note, I am going to a Halloween party on Saturday and need to scare up a costume of some sort. Any suggestions???

More blog love later. Time to get ready for work.

stall

You see this? To the left right there? This? This is not the enemy. That's what I keep telling myself, at least. Why? I'll explain.

The truth is, people, I am in what we call a stall. Some call it a plateau, some say they've stopped losing weight altogether, but really, I prefer to think of it as a stall. I know it's temporary, I know I didn't fail my surgery or worse, myself, I know that it's probably my body's reaction to the fact that I've lost a metric fuckton of weight, oh and hey, the cold weather is back and I'm freezing all the time. I know these things. Rationally, at least.

But my non-rational and more-feeling self will tell you that this is really hard. I don't understand why the scale isn't moving right now, especially since I'm keeping my calories low and I have stepped up my workouts exponentially. These are the things that have worked before -- why aren't they working now? I worry I'll never lose another pound, and I am not ready to be done yet. Not hardly. Not by a long shot.

I know this stall will break. I know this. I know it in my bones, and in my step, and even in the sweat that drips down my face as I'm Zumba-ing. I will continue doing what I need to do -- exercising and tracking my calories, and sticking with my nutritional guidelines -- and hoping for the best. I am sure this stall will eventually break, but until that day comes it feels downright soul-crushing.

And now, you must excuse me, as my non-enemy scale needs to be put on a very high shelf, well out of my reach. Good night.

end o' weekend roundup

Hey kids, it's me. I'm numbered-listing you tonight, with some exciting details from my weekend!

1. On Saturday, I put on a pretty dress and went to a wedding. As you can see, I also applied makeup and put on jewelry, so I looked just like a princess! I *love* that dress and need to come up with another occasion to wear it. It's been suggested that perhaps I should wear it to Target and the gro-store, and hey, why not?

2. I've had a sore lower back for a few days, or lumbago as I prefer to call it. I'm not too pleased with this. It got aggravated when I was on the plane and my smurf legs couldn't reach the floor so I had to sit at an odd angle. I used to think it was the width of the seats that hurt my back, but no, it's the short-leg-factor. Blast.

3. I saw Zombieland tonight and thought it was brilliant. I'm glad there are movie people out there who realize how funny zombies can be. I kinda wanted to see Paranormal Activity, but I was afraid that if I saw that movie I'd get so freaked out that I'd have to go sleep at my parents' house for a week or something.

4. I won't tell you exactly what I'm doing right now at the very end of the weekend, but let's just say that it involves a snuggie, an orange cat, and a movie I taped off the Hallmark channel. Party on!

back to life, back to reality

Oh yes, I am back from Florida, people! That's me, Starbucks in hand (yes, they have Starbucks at Universal! Two of them!), saying goodbye to Universal Orlando. I would really like to go back there, and actually my ticket is still good until Saturday, so if I should disappear during the day tomorrow, you'll know where I am. It'll be our secret. I have to say that Universal is the best-run theme park I have ever seen. One of my favorite features was that outside of every ride with tight seating, they have a sample seat so you can check if your ass fits in the seat before you get on line. Fortunately for me, my ass fit in all the rides I tried. YAY FOR ME & MY SHRINKING ASS!

In related shrinking-ass news, do you know how much easier it is for me to travel now? Well, let me tell you, it's easy-peasy. I got on the plane and the first thing I thought was "Wow, they have really wide aisles on this plane!" Then I sat in the seat and thought "Wow, so roomy! What huge seats! The armrest doesn't even dig into me!" Took me a few minutes to figure out that no, it's not the plane that changed, it's me. I can't even tell you what a relief it is to get on a plane and feel normal and not feel like anyone is giving me the evil eye.

In other news, today I really felt the effects of going from 95 degree weather yesterday to 41 degree weather today. Throw in the fact that I've lost over 170 lbs of insulation and I own virtually no cold-weather clothes and, as you can imagine, I was freezing my ass off. I need to rectify this lack of cold-weather clothes situation this weekend, but I don't expect to make any huge wardrobe investments. A few shirts, a couple pairs of pants, and hey, we're done until the next size change. Any and all donations to Lesley's Cold Weather Clothing Fund will be gratefully accepted.

And now, you must excuse me as I need to hem some donated jeans to wear tomorrow. And by "hem" I mean "duct tape". Because that's how I roll, my babies.

where have i been?

Oh ya know, I've been here and there and everywhere...
Here I am at Universal Studios Orlando, Florida having more fun than humans should be allowed to have! I'll be on my way home later today so stay tuned for further developments!

Incidentally, I would love to travel back to Orlando in the not-too-distant future so let me know if you'd like to join me...

yes, still here!

Oh, people, you are too kind. I skip blogging for two days in a row, and some of you email me to ask if everything's okay. The short answer is: yes, I'm fine. I just haven't had much to say, and I didn't want to numbered-list you again.

But I have no problem with telling you a bunch of random things and NOT calling it a list! Mwahahahahah!!!

Autumn is apparently HERE with a vengeance. I was holding out hope for some Indian Summer action, but now that it's almost Columbus Day, I think that ship has sailed. Wait... are we still allowed to say Indian Summer? Do I need to call it Native American Summer? Anyone?

The autumn has also brought about somebody's annual case of the seasonal affective disorder. I (still) blame this on Minnesota, whether I should or not. Steps are being taken to alleviate said disorder. And if any of you have any lightbox advice, please drop me a line, because I would love to know.

I need to send back my old phone to Verizon today. The one that did things like shut itself off and have non-working keys, so it got replaced under warranty which then led to a huge saga involving their sending me the wrong phone as a replacement (with no battery!) and my storming into the Verizon store and informing them that I was not leaving without a fully-functioning phone. I'd kinda like to include a note with the return suggesting that they shove the old phone up their collective asses, but that may be inappropriate, as some would say.

I am sure I have probably ranted about this before, but I don't care. It's worth repeating. See, if you are overweight, every single doctor you ever see for any condition whatsoever will advise you to exercise. One doctor even wrote me a prescription for exercise! (This was done so that the flexible spending account will cover my gym membership.) Great. That's good advice. In fact, I now stand 100 percent behind said advice and actually wish I had consistently heeded it a LOT sooner, but that is neither here nor there. What is both here and there is the fact that there are no retail stores that sell exercise-appropriate clothing in a size greater than XL, and no sports bras in a D-cup or higher. Trust me, I have looked. And looked. And then looked some more. Oh sure, you can buy them online, but this makes the whole trying-it-on process fairly difficult, plus you have to pay shipping. I think these same doctors need to write a prescription for the exercise-clothing-selling-stores to expand their options. Because I need a new sports bra, and I'm mad that I have to wait for it to ship. I need to support the masses!

And finally, I leave you with a photo of little 4-year-old Lesleygirl, running around some fountains in Orlando, Florida. Why am I posting this? Oh because tomorrow evening, 30-something-year-old Lesleygirl will be getting on a plane and heading to... wait for it... Orlando, Florida! No Disney World this time, though, unlike the trip when I was 4. I'll be staying near Universal, so I plan to do some exploring there. I also plan to spend some time lounging by the hotel pool and soaking up some sun.

Have an enjoyable weekend, people. And Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian peeps!

some days...

Some days I just have nothing to say. This is one of them. I think I used up my word quota very early in the day, and I can assure you that all of my People Calories were out by lunchtime, although lunchtime didn't happen until 2:00pm because it was just that sort of day.

1. Today's theme was apparently "chicken". I made a chicken-avocado-goat cheese salad for lunch. And then for dinner I grilled some chicken boob with Adobo, and then simmered them in chicken stock. It was the nomz, and I made enough so I have lots of leftovers for meals and snacks later this week. I'm glad I can eat the chicken boob again. It's quite dense and keeps Seymour happy for a long, long time.

2. I forgot my Nexium today, and the resulting agita is hurting. Ughhhhh...

3. I had to go to GNC to buy more protein, and the muscley guy behind the counter said "Wow, you've totally lost weight, haven't you?" I thanked him, and said that yes I had, in fact. Hmmm... so does this mean he wants me? Because I could totally get my cougar on with this sweet young muscle head. And maybe he could get me a discount on my proteins!

4. Every week when I watch Biggest Loser, all I can think is that Bob and Jillian need to get together and breed some uber-trainer babies. Seriously. I should email them!

5. Oh and speaking of Biggest Loser, when they had that guess-the-calorie challenge, I guessed 440, and the correct answer was 445! I actually did the maths, and figured it out. Yes, I've become quite the calorie-counting guru, haven't I? Although, had I been on the show, my guess would have been "ONE DOLLAR!" Because, as we've learned on The Price Is Right, that's always the right guess.

6. The new windows stink less today. This is good news. Although I feel bad that the kitteh can't sit in the window anymore, so I may need to rig up a window perch for her.


I can only think of six things to tell you. Send me some writing mojo, would you? That is just not enough!

monday melange

What a day, people. I should be sleeping now, since I've been up since 5:00 AM** and all, however, I am now pretty damn sure that that was not decaf they gave me at Starbucks!

**Those of you who know me well know that I didn't really wake up at 5:00 AM, since I don't like setting my alarm for round numbers like that. Instead, I heard the grind-and-brew coffee pot start up at 4:59, then the radio came on at 5:03, prompting me to get out of bed. There was also a back-up set to come on at 5:07. I am not sure why I avoid the round numbers. Just another way of sticking it to the man, I suppose.

Oh well, not even Starbucks could be a match for this brand o' tired! I'm going to numbered-list ya's today. Why? Oh why not!

1. My windows were all replaced (yay!) but Clementine was less than thrilled with her outing to Casa de LesleyParents (boo!). She cried big pathetic meows the whole way to their house (about 20 minutes), then once we got there she first hid inside a desk, and then decided that underneath the sideboard in the living room was really the place to be. And she stayed there. ALL. DAY. Poor kitteh. When it was time to leave, she quite willingly got back into the cat carrier and slept the whole time on the way home. I was expecting her to hide or act all pissy when we got home, but she's been a very sweet kitteh and is currently attempting to steal my Slanket as I type this.

2. The epoxy from the new windows has quite the stench. They had left my windows all closed (inexplicably) so I have them all open and have two fans running. Yes, it's cool out, but the Slanket helps.

3. I am tired of dealing with people's egos. Just putting that out there. On a good day, I feel like I am quite good at navigating such things and diffusing the drama the ego-clashing creates, but today I just did not have it in me. Today I was more in the mood to hand out smackdowns and tell people to STFU and just do their work, and most importantly, to LISTEN TO ME. Yeah, just putting that out there.

4. I have to freeze some chicken I bought last week. Remind me in case I forget. I'm going to freeze it in the brine so when it defrosts it'll brine in the process. Genius!

5. I can't think of a 5, so instead I'll tell you what I had for lunch: leftover Chipotle burrito bol. Good, GOOD stuff. I really love that I can get three servings out of one burrito bol. In the old days, I would polish off a whole burrito plus chips and salsa. Crazy times.

Good night. Time for me to set the alarm. This time for 6:37. Just to keep me on my toes.

home improvement

Tomorrow is going to be just a little crazy. To the right there, you'll see my house, all covered in siding wrapper stuff which, incidentally, could be way more festive than it is! Why not put a catchy design on the wrapper stuff? Or at least make it a color other than white? What's wrong with being at least a little festive?

I'm getting a Complete Makeover, Home Edition, you see. Tomorrow is window day, as I had mentioned previously. I have to wake up wicked early so I can push my furniture away from the windows (this just involves my loveseat and the shelves in the kitchen), and then I need to crate up Clementine and bring her to my parents' house for the day. Many phone calls have transpired about this arrangement. Many. And that's all I'm saying about that.

I had an insanely busy weekend, but alas, I have no time to blog about said weekend. Another day, my dears, another day. I must now rest up for the pushing of the furniture and the crating of the cat!

the badness fair

Oh I know, no blog yesterday. Well, I was tired! So tired that I started falling asleep around 9:30, so I skipped blogging and went right to bed, slept until 8:00 AM, and truth be told, I am still tired today. I'm fighting off some sinusy/ear thing and I believe it is sucking my energy. But don't worry -- I've taken extra vitamins, and consumed a metric fuckton of water and herbal tea, so I'm fighting back!

Yesterday at work we had a Wellness Fair. I'll admit, I didn't spend too much time at said Wellness Fair, but that mostly has to do with my own desire to not have nutritionists and gym people give me a smug smile and tell me how they can help me. I'm doing okay on my own, thank you very much. There were some wellness-type snacks, and I partook of some pecans and an apple. It was a good idea (and I'm not just saying that because the person who ran it for my office reads this blog!!!) but the timing wasn't so great for me, and I found myself not really wanting a Wellness Fair as much as I really wanted a... wait for it...

BADNESS FAIR!

What would the Badness Fair involve? Oh, I'm glad you asked that question! For starters, the Badness Fair would feature such things as staying up too late, watching a lot of TV, and tequila shots. Topics covered would include:

• How to bust open the cardboard on a box of wine to squeeze the last few drips of White Zin out of the foil thingy inside (oh come on, I know I'm not the only one who's done that!)
  
  
• What to do if there's more TV on than your DVR can handle (don't we all have that problem on Thursday nights, people?)
  
  
• The Snuggie vs. The Slanket: Which is the Best Blanket-With-Sleeves
  
  
• How to brew the perfect cup of kick-ass coffee to wake you up on those especially rough mornings
  

There would be snacks at the Badness Fair, too, however, they would all involve BACON. Bacon sammiches, chocolate-covered bacon, bacon cupcakes, you name it! Not that I even eat bacon, but hey, a Badness Fair is a Badness Fair. I'd have some jello for the non-bacon eaters. Sugar-free 'cause that's how I roll, my babies.

And now, you must excuse me, as I need to get some sleepies. If I'm going to fight off whatever is brewing in my sinuses, I need to rest. So my own personal Badness Fair is on hold for the evening. Good night!

what have you done today to make you feel PROUD?

Oh, thanks for asking, Biggest Loser! Let's see, so far today I've done the following: ate the food I had planned to eat, and I went to Zumba!

Biggest Loser made me bawl tonight, yet again. Probably because I've been there (hell, I'm still there) and I know from whence they speak. But the two players who were sent home tonight? (I'm not naming them so I don't ruin it for my west coast peeps.) How sweet were they? They may have gone home, but their attitude makes them the Biggest Winners. And the crazy girl who was busy being all crazy this week? Well, I totally hope her ass goes home next week. DO NOT LIKE.

I'm way too tired and stressed to write more right now -- tomorrow is the end of the third quarter and things are a little crazed. So I have homework for you: tell me, what have you done today to make you feel proud?

oh monday, monday...

Some things you would have done this fine Monday if you were me. Which you're not. But if you were.

- Took the day off, on account of not feeling so well, and feeling pretty sure that my 10 remaining sick days will see me through the rest of the year.

- Finished cleaning up after yesterday's bathroom ceiling mishap. Something happened upstairs in Football Guy's apartment** which resulted in a big bubble in the ceiling over my shower, which leaked some murky water into my shower and onto the floor. Not exactly pleasant.

** Yes, I will explain the Football Guy moniker another day.

- Dropped off my car for new front brakes. 117,500 miles on the original brakes? Yeah, I'm pretty happy with my Volkswagen! Although I was told by LesleyMom "That's because you don't ride your brake. You get that from me." My sister met me at the shop and lent me her car since she's going into the city tomorrow and won't need it. It's fun driving her new car with the snazzy XM radio (yay!) but I always feel so naked when I'm sans Beetle. I mean, am I still The Lesley without it?

- Went to the Verizon Wireless store with my stupid phone. It keeps shutting off randomly and now the OK button on the front (which unlocks it) stopped working. Both are apparently known issues, so they're sending me a new phone. I'm guessing it's going to be a re-furb, so I'm going to have to pretend that it's brand new and not think about the whole "re-furb" thing. Because if I get the idea in my head that someone else sneezed on my phone, I'll never make another call again.

- On Friday I was given a notice a notice from the apartment management people that the siding and my porch are both being replaced beginning today, so this morning at 7:00 AM, I had to move everything off of the porch. The end result is that there are now two Adirondack chairs in my living room. I have to say, I really like the look of outdoor furniture in my living room. It really snazzes the place up. The aforementioned notice also advised me that on a yet-to-be-determined day next week, my windows will be replaced too and that on the appointed day I should stow my pet in a cat carrier for the day so she doesn't run away. Umm... the what and the who now? Have these people ever spent any time with a cat??? I could not in good conscience put Clementine in her cat carrier and then go out for about 10 hours while workers were trooping through the house, replacing stuff. So, Clementine will instead enjoy a brief respite over at Chez LesleyParents. I think they're excited for her visit, actually, and LesleyDad has announced plans to re-name her Toonces. Not sure if he also plans to teach her to drive a car, but I'll keep you posted.

- Got the official letter from my insurance company about the thing they denied me for last week. I have already started the appeal process, but still, getting that letter was disheartening just the same. I'm not entirely convinced that the appeal will go well, but I am entirely convinced that what I am asking for is medically necessary, so I am prepared to go to the state board of appeals if I have to. Oh and needless to say, but I am keeping this vague on here right now, but if we're cool and you want to know what's up, you can email me.

- Received so many nice and supportive emails and comments on here and comments on Facebook after posting my before & after photos. Awww, people! You're the best! I appreciate your support, and it means so much to me to know that I have my very own cheering section out there cheering me on. You rock! btw, the progress photo album in its entirety is online elsewhere, so email me if you want the linky.

That's all.