Tuesday, September 26, 2006

tired brain, awake body

This post is being typed as I wait for my Advil PMs to kick in. Just to forewarn you. Yes, I know it's bad to take a sleep aid, but children, I need one tonight. My brains is tired but my body won't cooperate and settle down for some sleep! And (this time) it's not caffeine-related. The only coffee I had was my morning coffee, if you can believe.

I've been feeling completely overwhelmed at work and I know that is contributing to this overall tiredness while simultaneously giving me cause to stay up and worry rather than sleep. It's not anything I can't handle, because believe me, when it comes to my job I rock the casbah. But in the meantime it sucks. Today I decided that I needed to draw some boundaries so I skipped out on a meeting I was supposed to go to in New York. And really it wasn't a big deal. With the mountain of work I had to do in Princeton, it really didn't make any sense to spend about 4 hours traveling roundtrip to NYC.

I used to think it was all sorts of glamorous to have to go to NYC for work. Note that I said "used to". Because while the big-town really is like no place else and really is quite glamorous, the process of getting there just plain sucks. It wasn't as bad when I used to go to our old office on Fifth Ave. in the 20s (near the Flatiron Building) but now that I go to the Upper East Side the whole process sucks. Walking nearly a mile to the train because there's no parking, taking a dinky, taking a bigger train, walking up about 3 flights of stairs while carrying a laptop bag, more walking, taking the subway, climbing another 4 flights of stairs while (still) carrying a laptop bag, walking walking, and then arriving at the office worse for wear -- NONE of that is glamorous. Trust me. Whereas driving a cute, sexy Silver Beetle named Rizzo to your very own office -- quite glamorous indeed. It's true.

Monday night I stayed at work until almost 8:00pm. Which is why there was no Monday post. Around 8:00 I finally had to get tough with myself and force myself to just leave the office. Because I knew if I didn't then I would have stayed a few more hours, skipped the gym, had a very bad dinner, and no time to relax and unwind. And I can't have that. No job is worth that, especially not mine with the Jokey Smurf salary they give me. All of you workaholic types out there can tell me that working crazy hours is good for my career blah blah, but please note that you will be advised to blow it out your ass. I'm just saying.

I tweaked some things in the new template ever so slightly to make it more readable easy. (Oh me, there are approximately two or three grammatical errors in that sentence and I'm feeling too hazy to even care and/or fix them. What have I become?) Stewie congratulated me for refraining from the ads of Google. Oh hells no. Google ads would be like selling out to the man! Although a thought occured to me -- if I don't have ads, does that mean I can periodically have fundraisers like NPR and PBS? Because I could get behind that. I could knit tacky little gifts for my contributors! What do you think of that? I could picture it now "A $50 donation will get you this sushi toilet paper cover! Call now! Operators are standing by!"

Actually now that I think about it, I think I need that sushi toilet paper cover. I mean, how cute is that?

I had a rather intense IM conversation today while at work. A very good one, but intense nonetheless. I realized that I am getting to be less and less patient with people who try to use up my energy while giving me nothing in return. I've heard them called Emotional Vampires, and it is so goddamn true. These are people who get their energy from draining away the energy of others. Their means in achieving that usually involve things like inducing guilt, shaming, manipulating, playing the victim role (take care of me! me! me!), and appealing to the others' sense of obligation, all served up with a big steaming serving of passive-aggressive. No matter what you do for the vampires, it's never enough. Never. And I am done with the lot of them.

I think the PM in the Advil is kicking in. And kicking my ass. Must get sleep...

11 comments:

Ace said...

I feel your pain. I work a pretty stressful job. At least I make good money, I guess.

And I like my Google ads. I think they're funny.

But then, you're a rebel against the Man, and I've got a big picture of a stuffed munkee endorsing frozen food.

Katy said...

well being workaholic and advancing your career does not go hand in hand in my book. I just happen to like my jobs (all four of them) and enjoy working. # of my jobs have nothing to do with my career. Anyhow hope you had a nice rest and I like the fund raiser idea.

Katy said...

i meant 3 not #

Real said...

We prefere the phrase "bought in" to "sold out."

BTW if you need somebody to be your cassbah...

MoSup said...

Yikes! I just hope I'm not an IM vampire. I exist on IM simply for harmless, cynical badgirl banter. (And the requisite girltalk about boys, of course.)

Lesley said...

ace - Whenever I see those chicken things at Stop & Shop, I keep expecting to see a pic of Mookie J. Munkee right there on the package. That would be a sweet endorsement deal!

katy - I'm glad you like the fund raiser idea! I just may do it...

real - "bought in"? LOL. Is that like "wetlands" as opposed to "swamp"? See your email for my response to the second part of your comment...

mosup - I should have been more clear -- the vampire was NOT on IM. I was talking to a normal, well-adjusted friend on IM about the vampire.

Freak Magnet said...

That sushi toilet paper holder is great. Did you knit that, you uber talented girl, you?

And I'm with you on the vampires. They suck ass as well as energy.

Lesley said...

freak - No, I haven't knitted it, but I think I need to!

Laura Belle said...

Yeah, down with the vampires! Booooooooooooooooo. Congrats on being done, it's a truly glorious feeling. Very periwinkle.
~B

Jenn from WA said...

I wear my necklace of garlic to keep all the EV away. Of course, its keeping everyone else away...hmmm..might have to rethink that. If I went with the cross, my EVs would laugh me off the planet, so that's a big no way.

Stewie said...

I would so buy something from you for the cause.