in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee...

I pulled out something I had written for New Year's Eve a couple years ago. I am revising it and posting it now. Because the words I wrote then are just as true this year. And you really can't mess with that kind of perfection, people. Read on...

Hey, it's New Year's Eve, I had to go with the gratuitous Rent reference.

On this last day of the year known as MMVII, I have one thing to say:

GET BEHIND ME 2007!

Certain things about the year were very nice. Other things just blew, not that I need to get into that now. Times of joy, times of grief and sorrow -- you get the idea. And I did some learning. I faced at least one situation that I had thought would be the death of me, but I managed to take care of myself (so far) and I've lived to tell the tale. Not that I've told it yet, but still, I AM HERE. I've also learned that it's okay to grieve, even for something you never had. And to be gentle with myself when I'm grieving.

I'm offering my apologies to anyone I've insulted, judged unfairly, or hurt. Unless you deserved either the insult or the unfair judging. And you know who you are. (Notice that I left those I hurt out of that. No one deserves the hurt.) And apologies also to my friends for putting up with me. You also know who you are. To anyone who either insulted, unfairly judged, or hurt me, well... tomorrow is another year.

I know some of you must be working on your New Year's resolutions right now. I have my 35 for 35 list, I don't think I need to add any resolutions to that. I already have my work cut out for me, people. Although I wanted to share with you, my dears, that if you're thinking of making some sort of weight-related resolution, you really should go read what they had to say about such things over at Manolo for the Big Girl. Some very wise words there. I have a few health-related items on my 35 for 35 list, but it's things like "Pack my lunch at least three times a week" (which you know is something that can make or break a healthy eating plan) and "try new class at the gym". Not anything like "starve until I lose XX pounds." Because that's just crazy talk!

Although, I suppose that I could say that my resolution for 2008 is to KICK ASS. Yes, that's right, each and every day in 2008, I will kick ass. My calendar will read "Wake up, kick ass!" each and every day. In fact, I will kick so much ass in '08 that scientists will be scrambling to recalibrate their instruments in order to calculate just how much ass I have kicked, am kicking, and will continue to kick.

Having said that, I hope you have an excellent year. Happy 2008!

please to be kind and i'll try to explain, i'll probably get it all wrong...

I was going to do a meme today for you good people, but then I realized I didn't feel like it. It was about high school so I was going to call it "High School Meme-ical!" but then it asked questions like "Who would you want to see from your high school class?" and "What would you say to them?" And those of you who know me well know that such answers could possibly Get Complicated For Me and so I'd rather Not Go There.

I am enjoying this week off way too much. I think I need to buy a lottery ticket so that I could possibly extend the no-working thing for a long, long time. LesleyMom put one of those scratch-off lottery tickets in my Christmas card (Thanks Ma!) and I actually won $10 on it! Of course after I saw that I kept bragging that I was "dropping more Hamiltons than Aaron Burr!" Because I am all about the Hamiltons, natch.

Last night I Got Sick right when I was getting ready to go to bed so I settled on to the couch and watched TV for most of the night, since I had to keep getting up to go Be Sick. I watched "The Truth About Cats & Dogs" on the Encore OnDemand. I think I liked it a lot better 11 years ago when it first came out. Now I watch it and find it ridiculous that we're supposed to believe that no men want to go out with Janene Garafalo. I happen to think that there are a lot of men out there who'd want to be with a short, smart, snarky dark-haired girl. At least I hope so.

I watched some other crappy late night TV too. All this TV-watching has convinced me that every commercial on television includes either Rachael Ray or Peyton Manning. EVERY COMMERCIAL. I now have a strongly-held belief that the two of them will get together and have a child, named either Raeton Ranning or Peychael May, who in the future will star in any and all televised advertisements, as he/she will have been genetically engineered to endorse any and all consumer products.

With all the Being Sick, I only managed to sleep about 3 hours last night, from 7:00AM to 10:00AM. I am really starting to feel it now. My head feels all floaty and weird. It makes me think of that time that Josh Groban was on "Ally McBeal" and he had the big floaty head while he was singing "You're Still You." That is totally how I feel.

I didn't make it to the Verizon store yet, but I did get some other things done that were not even on my list, so I have stuck with my plan of Keeping Busy. Yay for me!

I am totally addicted to the Scrabulous on Facebook. If you would like to play a game with me, by all means, let me know! I love it!

This is enough blogging for now. I think my floaty head and I are going to go get some more knitting done. So maybe then I'll finally show you some progress photos of my fabulous cardigan, as promised. Stay tuned!

you might have laughed if i told you, you might have hidden your frown...

I suppose I should start off with the usual post-Christmas niceties of "Hey everyone, I hope you had a great Christmas and Santa was good to you!" but I am just not feeling it. Not that I hope you had a bad Christmas or anything. It's not you. It's me.

I have been doing a lot of thinking. And do you want to know something? There is nothing more exhausting than feeling bad about something you can do absolutely nothing to change. I am tired of feeling bad and blaming myself and feeling like the Worst Person in the World. So frickin tired of it. And you know, all the feeling bad and all the blaming myself and all the feeling like the Worst Person in the World is totally unproductive. It does nothing.

I have this whole week off from work. I haven't had a whole solid week off in over two years, so I think I quite deserve it. (Also, I realized that I am never EVER going to go that long without a whole week off!) I left work last Friday and I do not have to be back in my office until next Wednesday. This time off is both good and bad. It's good because it's given me time to get some things done that I really wanted/needed to do -- such as finish knitting my cardigan (woo hoo!), renew my passport, get my phone fixed, and get myself organized so that I can move on February 1 -- but it's also bad because now that I'm not spending eight hours a day working my codemonkey magic I'm left alone with my thoughts. I have been trying to keep myself super busy so that the thoughts don't overwhelm me. Today I really wasn't busy enough and as a result I feel like crap tonight. Emotional crap, I mean. So I made a list of things to do tomorrow (which is technically later today, as it's well past midnight). Here's what I came up with:

- Go to dentist for permanent crown (that one's not really negotiable -- I have an appointment and all)
- Go to Starbucks (post-dentist treat)
- Call M&U to catch up
- Get passport photo done
- Stop at Verizon store to have phone checked. Hope that neighbor is working and will hook me up with new phone.
- Go see "The Savages"
- Go to the gym
- Check out possible locations for upcoming move

That should keep me busy. I hope. I'll probably need another list for Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday. You get the idea.

I made another list today that I'm calling the "35 for 35 list." It's a list of 35 things I hope to accomplish this year, now that I'm 35 and all. It's all very Bridget Jones meets Good in Bed. Maybe this is how I will finally get that book deal I've been lusting after.

Now that I have written some, I do feel more like exchanging Christmas niceties with you. I hope you had a nice Christmas. I did. I probably don't say this often enough, but my family rocks. On Christmas Eve I was playing Christmas songs on the piano and my niece and nephews were singing along and it made me realize how lucky I am to have my family.

And Christmas Day was much more fun than I was expecting. I had slept not-very-well the night before, and I went to church Christmas morning since I hadn't gone the night before. I got back home from church and I thought "OMG, I am too exhausted to go anywhere, I just want to stay home!" But I got myself ready (after first sobbing hysterically into my bowl of shredded wheat) and went to the family party at my aunt's house. There was a lot of good food (and a LOT of good wine!) and it did me a world of good to be with my family and talk about things.

Santa was good to me, as I hope he was to you. Most of what I got was housewares for the upcoming move, but it's all things that I really need and are very much appreciated. It's all coming together nicely, and I am looking forward to having a new place to call home.

oh i wish i had a river i could skate away on...

It's a Sarah McLachlan cover of a Joni Mitchell song. Lyrics are here and worth checking out. Robert Downey Jr. also does a beautiful cover of it.

Merry Christmas Eve, my lovelies. Even if you, like me, wish you had a river you could skate away on.

Actually, I wish you a Merry Christmas especially if you feel that way.

it hurts to be this beautiful!

Here I am this morning (technically yesterday morning as it's officially Sunday now), right after having my eyebrows done. Now they look all neat and sassy, oh yes they do. And I can assure you that the blotchy red skin effect is almost all gone and really just a normal part of the process. Damn sensitive Irish skin!

I had quite the day o' beauty, actually. Not only did I get the brows done, I also got a much-needed and well-frickin-deserved manicure and pedicure. They told me I should get the wax first because then the redness would go away by the time my nails were done (yeah right). It was the first time I had gone to this particular salon, and I was chatting with the nice waxing girl. She started working and then she asked me how old I am. I told her that I had just turned 35 and she was all "Really? I thought you were in high school!" I am NOT making this up. And I believe it is important to note that she had already started working on my brows, which are right next to my eyes. And you know how the Eye Area is most infamous for showing one's age.

Well, needless to say, I gave her a huge tip for the courtesy of knocking off half my age. On my most recent birthday I had looked closely in the mirror and told myself "I bet I could totally pass for 28 or 30... right? I totally could... right?" But I never imagined that I could pass for 18. YEAH ME. Still got it! I later relayed this story to LesleyMom and she said "So did you want to kiss her when she said that?" and I said "Oh hells yeah! Big kiss, lotta tongue and some grabass too!"**

**Please note well that there was no big kiss with lotta tongue. This is not that kind of blog. Patron Saint apologizes for your disappointment.

I am almost done with my Christmas shopping, and quite relieved about that, to say the least. And I may have snuck over to the 50% off sale at Lane Bryant and spent about $100 on myself. But if I did a thing like that, I can assure you that it was all stuff that I totally needed. And plus it would have originally been over $300, but everything was 50% off PLUS I had a coupon for $50 off a $150 purchase. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

In non-hypothetical shopping news, I had set out to get a gift card for the LesleyNiece to the Abercrombie & Fitch kids store. I had been assured that this would be a most excellent gift which she would appreciate. I spoke with my sister (the mother of LesleyNiece) yesterday and she told me that the gift cards at the regular Abercrummy stores work at their kids stores, so I could just go there. Since the mall I went to today didn't have the kids store, I went to regular Abercrummy. What a god-awful place that is. The music was way too loud (yes, I'm complaining about loud music -- see, I really am 35!), it was way too hot and stuffy in there, the whole place reeked of the piss-water perfume they sell, and the line was obscenely long. So I stood in the obscenely long line thinking "I just want to get this gee dee giftcard and get the hell out of here!"

Finally I got to the front of the line. I told them I needed a gift card. As it happens, the only gift cards they have are the ones pictured here, with the half-nakey mens on them!!! I looked at the salesgirl and said "You can NOT be serious! This is for my 11 year old niece! Don't you have anything else?" And she showed me the only other design they have -- which is just a back view of the very same half-nakey mens!

So I did what any good aunt would do, and I bought the frickin' gift card anyway, half-nakey mens and all. I'm sure my sister and brother-in-law will be quite pleased. But I am sure that either one or both of them will see it in this blog before Christmas Eve, so hey, they can't say I didn't warn them!

Wishing you all happily-completed holiday shopping and half-nakey mens. Try not to look directly at all the half-nakey!

nothing to see here...

Those of you bloggers who keep statistics, do you ever wish you could somehow communicate with the searchers who find your blog? I am getting far too many hits today for "in the meadow we can build a snowman..." and other similar terms. I feel bad because several of them are coming from ISPs that include k12.edu in their name. Oh dear God, what have I done?!!

Although really, I do count that post among my finest. December 2005 was a good blogging time, apparently.

I was going to post some gratuitous Friday knitting photos, but alas, the digicam is at home so you will have to do without. Soon, though. I am working on a cardigan that's been growing and growing by leaps and bounds, and I'd love to show you how pretty it is now! I am almost done with the body, and then I need to knit the sleeves. Either that or decide it's a vest. But really, I think I'll just go with the sleeves, as planned. All of this will make much more sense, however, when I have some photos to show you!

One of the affiliates in my workplace has been counting down to a Big Goal, and so they drew one of those thermometer things on a whiteboard to show their progress. The kind of thermometer that one usually associates with church building fundraisers and the like. However, whoever drew this particular thermometer... well, okay, there's no other way to say it, but the "thermometer" looks downright phallic! It's been up on the whiteboard for about a month now, and I have to walk by it at least twice a day. And every time I walk by it, I of course giggle at how phallic it looks and then I get the urge to go draw some little pubes next to it. It's taken every ounce of self-control in my possession to not walk over and do so. But of course even thinking about it is enough to make me giggle. Because on the inside, I'm an adolescent. Just call me McLovin.

I had my official performance review this morning. Now, I know that I kick ass around the office, but I really didn't know that other people were aware of that. Turns out they are. I'm getting a big raise but I will not find out the exact amount of said raise until the first week of January. I will try to not let the waiting stress me out. But I make no guarantees about that one.

I'm out of ideas. Slow blog day.

this and that and chicken soup!

I have never read one of those Chicken Soup books not that I'd admit to, at least but this caught my eye the other night at Target:


Now, you know I am unabashed about my love of all things American Idol, so I just may need this book. Or at the very least, I need to see the part about how to win the tickets to the 2008 finale, which I just noticed now. Ideally, this prize would also include backstage passes and dinner with my Snooty British boyfriend, Simon Cowell. I'm just saying.

I got my hair highlighted last night after work, which was all sorts of pretty fun. So today I kind of still smell like hair color, but the end result is totally worth it. I told the colorist that I needed a change, so she gave me more red and more caramel highlights. Very nice. The Aveda rep was at the salon doing makeup touch-ups so of course I took advantage of that, and ended up buying a big bag o' Aveda products (and scored some fabulous samples!), but hey, it was all stuff I needed. And I look really cute. She kept telling me that I have unusual eyes and I need to emphasize them. I was going to ask "Umm... good unusual or bad unusual?" but it's hard to ask questions when someone is putting eyeliner on you. Or at least I'd prefer not to distract someone who is using a pencil-like object so close to my eyes.

I am almost about halfway through my Christmas shopping. Which I'm totally okay with. I have plenty of time to finish up. The problem I have with my family is that they don't need anything and they hardly ever ask for anything. So this year there are going to be a lot of gift cards. I used to think gift cards were oh-so-cheesy, but hey, this way they can get twice as much stuff at the after-Christmas sale. I haven't started my Christmas/Holiday cards yet, but I'm going to get them done this weekend. So if you really really want a card, let me know.

I've been re-reading "Eat Pray Love" and just savoring it as I go. What a truly excellent book. I've gone back and re-read the beginning pages several times the past few weeks, and cried along with the author when she writes about her nightly crying jags, and I've related quite a bit to things like when she writes about her fear of becoming Crazy Aunt Liz and living in her sister's attic. (My own sister has probably just read that and shuddered at the thought!) I am glad I'm not the only one with such fears!

I watched that "Friends With Money" movie again Tuesday, courtesy of the Encore Indie channel. It's a quirky movie, but I liked it even more the second time I saw it. I like seeing Jennifer Aniston in a non-Rachel role, of course, and the dialog was also very good. I won't reveal any spoilers, but I found the last scene, where she's talking with That Guy to be very touching.

I have more to write about but alas, no time to write it yet, people. I have two performance reviews to prepare myself for -- one today, and one tomorrow. I didn't realize that by taking a shared-affiliate job that I'd have two performance reviews. Had I known that, I'm not sure I would have agreed to this!

crazy eight meme

I have been tagged for this by more people than I can recall or even link to. Among the taggers are: Freak Magnet, Stewie, Hotdudi, and MeHereNow. If you tagged me and I left you off the list, lemme know!

Here are da rules:

(1) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
(2) People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
(3) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
(4) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Listen, rules, schmules. I'll write the eight things, but I'm not tagging anyone. I don't think there's anyone left to tag! Also, I'm not really sure if I can come up with eight random facts about myself that I haven't already mentioned.

1. I have the smallest hands of any adult human I have ever met. My seven year old nephew has bigger hands than I do. The small handedness didn't stop me from playing the piano. Also, I am told that my hands are small yet mighty, but I would bet that's from all the knitting.

2. I get really really excited for the season of Advent because I love the hymns so much. And then I almost feel sad when it's over and we have to sing Christmas hymns.

3. I have way too much yarn in my stash right now. I think in 2008 I need to resolve to either use it up or give it away. I also have several UFOs (Un Finished Objects) that I really need to finish as they are just painfully old!

4. Sometimes I have a really hard time standing up for myself in the workplace. Then I worry that if I speak up that I can't do it without crying. And I refuse to cry at work!

5. I don't like when other people sneeze loudly. They're just doing it to draw attention. And if they emphasize the spray effect of the sneeze, it makes me feel like I need to go take a shower!

6. I like my coffee with half and half, nothing else. Sometimes, if it's iced coffee I'll put some splenda in it, but for the most part, unsweetened is what I want. Fancypants espresso drinks are different, of course.

7. I love my gym but my gym attendance has been sucking ass the past few weeks. That's not such a weird or random habit, but it's a habit nonetheless. And a bad one at that.

8. I've become increasingly aware that I have certain standards that I really can't compromise. If that makes me a snob, well, so be it. I prefer to think it makes me discerning.

There. That's eight. I hope you weren't expecting miracles here, kids. If you haven't been tagged and you want to be, then I officially tag you right now! Have at it!

In other news, I need an opinion, people. I have this one sock just about done here and now I'm not so sure about the color. What do you think? Do you like the color? Or, like me, are you thinking the color can best be described as Cat Puke? Be honest! I'm thinking that even if it is Cat Puke color I should go ahead and knit the other sock. It's the disciplined and mature thing to do. And the lace really is pretty.

I have the day off today so I'm going to use the time to go get my Christmas shopping done. Actually I'm going to use the time to START my Christmas shopping. Yes, that's right, I haven't even started yet. GO ME!!! It shouldn't be too bad actually. I have less than 10 gifts to buy and this year I actually have the money to buy gifts, so there's none of that pesky "OMG how am I going to pay for this?!!" anxiety. Have a good day, my lovelies.

just call me the mad hatter

I have finished another hat! Crazy! This is a Christmas gift, so I wanted a hat that would go very quickly, and this one totally fit the bill. Once again, I have to say, if you're a knitter and looking for a very quick project to give you a sense of accomplishment, I recommend it!

Here's the official finished project details (which I am oh-so-bad about actually posting EVER):

Pattern: Hot Head from Stitch-n-Bitch

Yarn: Brown Sheep Lamb's Pride Bulky in Onyx

Amount: roughly 2/3 of a skein

Needles: size US # 10.5 circulars. I used my Knitpicks Options interchangeables. (Seriously, if you knit and you don't own these needles yet, what is wrong with you?!!)

Technique/Modifications: The original pattern was written so that the hat would be knit flat and then seamed to make it round, ya know, like a hat should be. I really don't like seamed hats so I knit it in the round instead. It was pretty easy to do for the ribbing, and when I got to the decreases at the very top I had to re-adjust to make sure I didn't knit the purls and purl the knits. If you want to knit this pattern and do likewise, send me an email and I'll let you in on my secrets... The original pattern also called for using various shades of red, yellow and orange for a fiery effect, but I thought that a black hat would look nice and have a much better chance of actually being worn. Also, since I absolutely abhor the use of double-pointed needles for knitting in the round, I used a circular needle and did what I call a half-assed Magic Loop. It worked very well. I will totally do that again!

Time: Started Thursday night (12/13) and finished it Saturday afternoon (12/15). Crazy fast!


I needed a volunteer to model the hat, so here is LesleyMom wearing it. It's not for her, but I think it does look awful cute on her. She thought it would be best to take the photo in front of the Christmas wreath. So now the photo is all festive and merry too!

I really am quite pleased with this hat. The yarn really makes a nice, warm fabric and the ribbing stretches very nicely and makes the brim stay flat. I hope the intended recipient likes it!

This concludes today's installation of knitting updates. In other news, I have been tagged by roughly 12 different people for the same damn meme. Once again, it's that meme of "list 8 weird facts about yourself" as if this whole damn blog isn't one continuous list of weird facts about yours truly. But a tag is a tag, so I will get to it! But in the meantime, stop tagging me! I mean it!

a hat / not-a-hat

As promised, here's some photos of the hat/not-a-hat that I finished this week. It's Calorimetry from my pals at Knitty.

It's not a hat in the traditional sense, but I believe it will keep my head (and most importantly my ears!) warm. Since I do have a large noggin, I added 8 stitches to the pattern. It turns out that the ribbing is very stretchy and I wouldn't have needed it, but the finished effect is really nice, so I'm glad I did it.

In this first photo, this is what looked like when it came off the needles. Pretty yarn, right? I wish I could remember the name of it, but all I can remember is that I bought it at Stitches East one year and it has sat in my stash ever since. I believe it's from the Schaeffer yarn company, but there's a good chance it could be from the Great Adirondack yarn company.

Here's a sassy photo of yours very truly**, wearing the Calorimetry as it's meant to be worn. Actually I think it's meant to be worn with long hair sticking out the back, but let's just pretend. I actually like this hat for my shorter hair because it will keep out the cold like a good hat should, without smooshing my hair and giving me the dreaded Hat Head.

**Pay no attention to those bags under my eyes! Someday I will sleep once again and they'll be gone!

I almost left out this last photo, as it does not make me look good AT ALL, but I do like the way it shows off the colors of the non-hat. Pretty colors! Ooh, and check out that ribbing! Nice, right?

Just pay no attention to my wicked case of Crazy Eyes, okay? When taking self-portraits, one never knows what one will get.

Stay tuned for further updates of my knitting adventures...

finding out wherever there is comfort there is pain...

Hello my lovelies. I am writing to you from Fake Sick Day central. And btw, if we work together and you're cool enough to read this blog, I know you won't spill the beans. This is a desperately-needed mental health day, besides.

I have a bunch of random things to tell you today but I'm not even to go through the formality of making a list and writing numbers. My blog, my rules.

I've been quite peeved because I picked up my sunglasses last week and it hasn't been sunglasses weather since. FOR ONE WEEK. Actually, at lunchtime yesterday it was almost sunny so I decided it was time to finally wear them. Of course I had to snap a camera phone photo to show you. Cute sunglasses, right? They're Ralph Lauren frames. I've had good luck with them in the past. I think I look all sorts of sophisticated in them. I have to say, though, the tint on them is very dark! Darker than I'm used to. I guess Lenscrafters doesn't mess around when it comes to protecting your eyes from the sun!

I went out to a holiday dinner thang for the dot-org that I am now webmaster of. It was good times. We went to an Ethiopian place (which seems appropriate, given our content) in New Brunswick. The food was good, but no one informed me that there's no forks involved in Ethiopian cuisine! No forks! Instead, you get this bread that really seemed more like a spongy crepe, and you tear off pieces and use it to grab the meat and vegetables off your plate. It was weird. Not that kind of place you'd want to go on a first date, I would think. For the same reasons you wouldn't go eat ribs on a first date. Too messy.

I need a pedicure. My nails have seen better days. I also need to get my eyebrows done. Ugh.

I know I told you all recently that I seem to have less and less tolerance for the passive-aggressive, and that I wondered if turning another year older would leave me with even less patience for it. (I'm too lazy to link to the post where I said that, but I am sure you remember!) Anyway, all signs point to yes. Next person who pulls some PA** on me is getting the smackdown of the century.

** It's funny to me that the logical abbreviation for passive-aggressive is PA, especially living right by Pennsylvania and all. My friend Petey and I were talking about that one day when we were IMing instead of working, so now we regularly describe people as "being Pennsylvania" or "that is so Pennsylvania!" Just because we're the only ones who see the humor in this doesn't make it any less funny.

I feel bad that I told you how messy the Ethiopian food is without mentioning how phenomenal the desserts were. Because they were OMG SO GOOD. I had this chocolate thing that was downright orgasmic. Actually, it was the kind of dessert menu that you look at and think "Why yes, I'll have one of everything!" And the Ethiopian coffee was full of spicy goodness. Also, they gave us a lot of wine, but it was Australian not Ethiopian. But very very good.

Sometimes it baffles me how well my mother gets me. I mean, she can do things like know that something is bothering me long before I say anything -- how does she do that?

I just finished knitting myself a hat-like sort of thing. I'll post pictures just as soon as I get my camera charged up again. It took me about 3 or 4 hours of total knitting time, so if you are a knitter and are looking for a fun quick project to give you a sense of accomplishment, I totally recommend it!

The title of this post is a reference to Four Seasons in One Day by Crowded House, who I'm sure you're sick of hearing about. I was going to post the video but I thought better of it. I've been posting so many videos and it's not exactly a cheery song. Good lyrics though. Very good.

I'm sure I have more to say but it's way past time for some Fake Sick Day breakfast and I am feeling more than a little peckish here!

ready ready ready ready , ready to run...

Thank you for all the emails/IMs/etc that I've received since the last post. You know who you are, and it means a lot to me.

I've been thinking a lot about how it is that people feel a need to put you into a niche when they meet you. And how, really, those niches say more about them than about you. More specifically, I'm becoming aware of some of the niches I feel like I've been put into by others. And how I know that they say more about the other person than about me.

To give you a very mild example, I find whenever I meet someone new, one of the first things they ask me is "So what do you do?" And when I answer that I'm a webmaster, I feel surprised later that they've put me in some kind of "techie" niche, and they want to just talk to me about technology and the like. There is so much more to my life than just what I do for work. I'm a philosopher, a theologian, a biblical languages nerd, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a godmother, a friend, and a writer (in my own mind, and on this blog too!). To name just a few things about myself.

I'm not claiming innocence and saying that I don't do the niche thing too. I'm sure I do. I think we all do. There are probably some advantages to it. Maybe another day I'll write more about that. Today is not that day.

Today I'm thinking more about when the niche-putting is done unfairly. When a judgment is made based on what I can only describe as a subjective reality at best, by someone who lacks either the cognition or open-mindedness (or both) to see the big picture. Recently I've smacked my head right into that, and it's Fun's Cousin, NOT FUN. It's made me mindful of why I should not do such things myself.

I have more thoughts, but those are just other blogs for other days. Again I want to say thank you to those of you who have reached out to me. You have no idea how much it means to me. I know a lot of you are far away but I totally wish we could get together and sit and have a regular old International Coffee moment together. Like here!

there are things of which i may not speak

I can only speak for myself so I will tell you that I had a rough weekend, people. I'm sure I was not the only one for whom that is true. And I don't really want to talk about it. Or blog about it. Right now I am just trying to shake the feeling that I am the Worst Person in the World. Or at least the meanest. I don't like feeling like a meanie.

I apologize in advance for the vagueness here but this is all I am comfortable saying at the present time.

That's all.

friday finn fix

It's an overcast Friday. Kind of a bummer since I just picked up my new sunglasses last night and I figured I'd look all sorts of sleek and sophisticated wearing them with my new leather jacket. Or at least that's how I'd look in my head. Where the party never ends.

I heard this song on my way to work, and it's fitting my mood for the day. It's "Won't Give In" by the Finn Brothers. As in Neil Finn (my New Zealand rocker boyfriend) and his brother Tim Finn. I saw them in concert when they toured for this album. I really want to see them again!




Other Friday factoids:

There's a woman at work who wants to learn to knit. She wants to learn on her lunch hour. And since I usually knit on my lunch hour, guess who she wants to teach her? I am evading this request as best I can. I need my lunch hour to relax. And I think that teaching this particular person would be ANYTHING but relaxing.

My office is so cold today that I think I can see my breath. It's literally a meat locker in here. So if you have a side of beef that needs some cold storage, come on over!

I didn't pack a lunch today. I'm not sure what I'm going to buy yet. Something from Whole Foods. And probably a stop at Starbucks too.

lesley boxing day

If yesterday was Lesleymas, then today is Lesley Boxing Day. Shut up, it totally is! My blog, my rules!

To the right you will see the lovely flowers that I received for my birthday. (Not the best photo in the world, but it's my camera phone, people!) They are pink and purple and all sorts of pretty, and best of all, I'm not allergic to them! LesleyMom told me she was very specific about that when she ordered them ("NO LILIES! SHE HAS ASTHMA!") . Big ups to LesleyMom & LesleyDad!

If you look carefully you can also see the teapot I painted at one of those paint-your-own-pottery places. I went to one as part of a three-part bachelorette party (pottery, dinner, then dancing men & drinking). I think it was smart to schedule the pottery painting prior to the serious drinking. That's some good planning there! It's a teapot so I painted tea bags all over it. I'm clever like that.

The weather today is insanely cold by New Jersey standards, and it's reminding me a lot of Minnesota weather. It's the kind of deceitful day that looks all sunny and bright and WARM until you go outside and realize that it's actually 23 degrees and the windchill makes it feel like minus zero. (Yes, that's an actual temperature. Trust me.) So I changed to a winter blog banner today. The new banner reminds me of going to Como Park in the winter. I really should change the banner more often so someone please do me a solid and remind me to change it in about a month, okay?

I had ambitions of making a list of 35 things I hope to accomplish during my next year. I didn't finish it yet though, so maybe I should make finishing it one of the 35 things. I can't guarantee I'll feel moved to share it with you here though. Sorry. It's not you, it's me.

We got a fair dusting of snow (in honor of my birthday, presumably) which made me quite happy. I like having the world all pretty like a snow globe for my special day.

I heard that ER is having its 300th episode tonight. Ummm... is there anyone out there who hasn't given up on this show yet? Because I have. I tried to watch it again recently but it was the one where Abby's baby got hurt on the playground and I couldn't stand it. I mean, why do they hate that baby so much?!! I saw on the promo that to celebrate their 300th episode they'll have 300 patients. I presume this means the episode will also have 300 moments that will cause you to lose your will to live, simply by witnessing this show. I'll probably watch it, since there's nothing else on that's new. Unless I decide to go out and get my drink on. You never know.

I haven't decided what to get myself for my birthday this year. Rizzo the Beetle really needs a new stereo and I found a nice one that would fit in the dashboard and has an iPod jack for a pretty reasonable price, so I'm going to go check that out after work. Also, my sunglasses broke (after 7 years) so I'm going to go to the mall and order a new pair today. So that'll be birthday gift #2. Although the sunglasses are more of a necessity than a gift. I mean, I can't go around squinting! No crow's feet on this face!

I also really want a pair of those cute Uggs clogs. I'm not sure if I can justify their purchase at this point though. Maybe. I'm not sure. Because if I get myself the Uggs, I could wind up on a slippery slope in which I also justify the purchase of a new MacBook and iPod. And that's just crazy talk.

I'm feeling overwhelmed lately. I think work is once again conspiring to kill me. I think my non-work life may be conspiring to kill me as well. This morning I woke up dreaming that I was on a warm sunny beach, swimming in crystal clear blue water. I think I need a vacation. A tropical vacation. So if I disappear for a few days, you know where I'll be.

so this is lesleymas, i hope you have fun...

It's my birthday, people! Woo hoo! Although, please, call it by its proper name, the sacred festival of Lesleymas!

In honor of the anniversary of the day that I graced the world with my presence (by the way, YOU'RE WELCOME!), here's a scene from my tenth birthday. Join me for some cake, why don't you?


(Incidentally, my parents have never given a significant justification for that choice in wallpaper. I've asked.)

I know I featured this photo before, but I like it quite a bit so you can look at it again. My blog, my rules. Notice the presence of both an ice cream cake and a chocolate cake. Not too shabby, right?

So yeah, it's my birthday. And I'm trying not to let a little thing like a number (as in my age!) bother me. It's just a number. And numbers are math. And math is part of the Axis of Evil, as you may remember. It's kind of bogus having a birthday on a Wednesday, but whatever, it's still Lesleymas and I'll still find a way to celebrate in my very own way. And I invite you to do the same.

Merry Lesleymas to all, and to all a good night!

happy hamukah?

Now you know I am an equal-opportunity patron saint, so I'd like to wish a Happy Chanukah to all my peeps who are chosen peeps!

I found this photo on the internets. I think something is slightly amiss here...



I'm not sure of the location of the supermarket in this photo, however I would pretty much bet that it's somewhere in the midwest. An important aspect of midwestern culture that I learned very early on when I lived there is that ham is served at any and all special occasions. Sorry midwesterners, but I speak the truth, ADMIT IT! Wedding? Ham! Baptism? Ham! Holiday, any holiday? HAM!!!

This morning I didn't feel like (1) making coffee or (B) cooking breakfast, so I went to Starbucks instead. If you live in an area where Starbucks is featuring their breakfast sammiches, then you need to run, not walk, there right now and get a Spinach Feta wrap. It is OMG SO GOOD and, just so you know, it's chock full o' protein, low in fat, and less than 2 carbohydrate servings so I can keep my blood sugar stable, yo! When I was there I was looking at the display about the new custom Starbucks cards they have, and I thought "You know, if someone wanted to get me one of those for my birthday tomorrow, that would be okay with me. I mean, I wouldn't mind getting something like that."

I'm just saying.

comfort, comfort ye my people...

That's the first line to a hymn which can only mean one thing: it's the first week of Advent!

I used to feature a fair assortment of religious kitsch on this here blog. And what better time to bring that back than during the holidays! So in the first, of hopefully several installments, I present to you the following:


And lo, they brought him gold, frankincense, and pic-a-nic baskets!

I don't know why, but I find the anthropomorphic nativities the most disturbing of all. I mean, bears? Seriously? What the hell do bears have to do with the nativity?

I found this gem on eBay, natch. I love how the seller, who went to great pains to assure us that this set is indeed "RARE! NEW! RARE!", has set it up all fancy-like on what appears to be a white napkin. An unironed white napkin, at that. All class, baby!

Ahem.

In other news, I woke up with a chesty kind of cough this morning. And I'm feeling kinda phlegmmy. But not phlegmatic, mind you. You know when you get that feeling that you could clear your throat for about five minutes and it still wouldn't be clear? It's like that. I'm drinking lots of tea and taking that Emergen-C stuff too, which tastes WAY better than Airbourne. Trust me on that one. The good part, and yes, I am seeing the good in this, is that my sinuses are completely fine. Maybe it's my newfound love of the neti pot. Or maybe, just maybe, the evil evil s-t-a-p-h is gone for good! I sure hope so, at least.

Wishing you a blessed and bear-free Advent.