last friday
Last Friday of the year, that is. And guess what? Minimum Blog Requirement.
Although I will say this: I love blogging. I write this for me. And blogging has often been my cheap therapy, my way to work things out for myself, and even a way to connect with other people.
However, there are people out there who take things out of context, act offended at something they think I said while reading between the lines (um no, I'm not talking about anyone else other than MYSELF), and cause me drama. I do not like this. I've actually thought about discontinuing blogging because of it, but then I went back to my original point: I WRITE THIS FOR ME.
That's all. Good night.
3 snarky comments:
NOOOOO! You can't quit...what would I read every morning at work? I often find, like you, that my blog is something like therapy. I really don't care if anyone gets offended or doesn't like what I write. Stop reading it then.
Just out of curiosity-- if you write just for you, why not keep it private? You can easily type all of this on your word processor application and no one has to see it. I think that bloggers LIKE having an audience-- otherwise, why post it online for the entire world to read your intimate struggles, thoughts, triumphs, flops? Anyone can anonymously post a comment to your blog... just as I am doing now. Clearly, you write for more than just yourself. And there is nothing wrong with this if this is how you choose to live your life... but be honest about it. I mean no disrespect. I do not keep a blog, but am intrigued by people who do.... and how so many bloggers profess that they blog for themselves-- yet, anyone with a computer has access to their life. If you truly wrote for yourself and only yourself, you would not keep a blog. You write for the readers as well as yourself, don't you think?? I visit your page just a few random times a year. You clearly have writing skill and have a lot to offer the world. If I may make a suggestion-- your thinly veiled, underhanded comments for people who have "done you wrong" completely distract from the heart of your writing. Just when the writing gets good, you toss something out there about "Those Fuckers" or someone who asked an inappropriate question at a high school reunion. Again, I mean no disrespect and I do not mean to offend you. Just giving an opinion... as you do each day with your blog.
Oh Anonymous, you could never offend me! I feel like we're old pals at this point. Happy New Year, by the way!
I know the underhanded comments aren't good for me or anyone else, but I'm just coming to realize both that they're not good (and should be avoided) and to understand why I've done it. Like I've said, blogging is, in a way, my cheap therapy. In another post I wrote about how I've realized that when things are unresolved I get stuck and feel unable to move on, even though I need to. And there are a few situations that have made me feel that way -- being laid off from a job I loved and The Eunuch, just to name two examples. And neither example is even worth writing about ever again.
So I'm realizing that sometimes there are things that just suck and will never be resolved to my satisfaction. And those are the times that I just have to let go and move on. It does trip me up some, but it's getting easier for me to recognize the pattern.
I also think some of the underhanded snark comes from the fact that for a very long time, I navigated the world as a super morbidly obese woman, and everywhere I went I felt people staring and judging and I used to try to make myself as invisible as possible. That left me feeling voiceless. So instead of doing things directly like "Oh hey, high school reunion friend, I don't appreciate your saying that about me!" it was easier to snark. Not my finest moments, of course, but I can understand it better now. And I constantly remind myself that voicelessness really isn't an option anymore.
I don't think it's necessary to keep things private in order to say that this is written for myself. What I mean by "for myself" is that I'm writing this because I need to, because I have things I want to say, and this is my forum in which to do it and I'm not going to edit what I have to say because someone might not agree. It's nice having an audience, and that is in fact one of the reasons I started blogging. This blog was born when I'd gone through a breakup and was feeling terribly lonely. I realized that I didn't really miss him, but what I missed was having someone to tell my stories to at the end of the day. So I figured if I started blogging, then maybe a few people would want to read what I have to say, and then it would be like I had many boyfriends out there who were listening to me.
The audience part of it also helps me feel connected to other people. Not a lot of people comment, but quite a few will actually send an email to tell me that they liked something I wrote. I've made some very good friends that way, and I think that's pretty cool.
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