weekend!
The weekend is ending. And tomorrow morning I have to wake up bright & ugly and drive about an hour into Pennsylvania to interview for a job that is, in fact, in Princeton. See, the job is in Princeton but the project management firm I'd be working for as a consultant is in Pennsylvania. After that interview I have to high-tail it to Princeton to have lunch with someone from the firm who works on-site where the job is. That all makes sense, right? Right!
This weekend I was talking with two of my friends who've also been through the whole massive weight loss + plastic surgery thing, one who did so ten days before me and one who did it just this past week. I was saying how I can't wrap my mind around how I look now, and my friend M showed me a website called My Body Gallery. It's pretty cool -- you go on there, tell them how tall you are, your weight, your clothing sizes, and body type (or some combination thereof), and then they show you photos of real women who match that description.
People, I was floored!!! I looked at the pictures that matched my parameters and I kept saying "No! I don't look like that! You're kidding me!" M looked at some of the pictures with me and in her usual forthright way pointed out that actually I am smaller than quite a few of them. Probably because of all the working out I do. Or as LMFAO would say "I WORK OUT!!!" It may sound kinda dumb, especially if you've never struggled with body image, but it really had an impact on me. I know I'm not there yet, but I think I'm starting to get that I really look different now.
And now it's late, although not as late as the timestamp would indicate (ha!), so I need to finish boiling my steel cut oats and go the hell to bed. Wish me luck with my interviews, people!
3 snarky comments:
Okay, well that site has left me completely depressed because as I blogged recently - I have the opposite body image problem - I still see someone thin in the mirror. Why don't you send them in a photo though and pass on the good vibes of the site?
PS Best wishes for your interview!
PS#2 About the women at the gym... have you thought that they now see you as competition? Not maliciously, but subconsciously, especially if you are at or nearing their size, they may be reacting to you with "Are you going to lose even more weight [and become thinner than me? Do I need to lose weight?] I don't mean that they aren't great friends or aren't wishing you well, but as you were much heavier when you started, they may now feel surpassed by you. There you go sweetie - you are not only 'normal' but you are a *threat*
My photo is posted on the body gallery site now! The photo even shows some of my new incision, which is all sorts of hotness.
I don't think my gym friends were asking in a competitive way, I think they were genuinely curious as to whether I was done or still working to lose more. The good part about going to a wellness center rather than a more traditional gym is there's less of that "I'm hotter than you" competition thing going on.
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