i don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing i need...

Oh, it's Wednesday! So here are five things I feel like telling you today. Five as in the fifth day of the month, which was my birthday. More on that in a bit.

1. This is going to be my last full week of work for at least a month. The office is closed next week and we don't go back until January 2nd. So that's a three day week. The week after that I'll have a three day week since my surgery is on Thursday, January 10th. And right now I'm hoping to return to work the day after MLK day, which will give me a four-day week. Ah, what a life! At first I was a little bummed out that my office is closed next week, because as a contractor I won't get paid for any of it, but I figure this will be my opportunity to have some fun before my big surgery, since I don't think recovering from that will qualify as "fun." Even with all the painkillers. Still not fun.

2. Yesterday, a piece of metal was hanging off the guardrail of the bridge I took home, and it scraped my beautiful new car. So I now have two big scrapes along the side of my back passenger door. On the one hand, I guess this means the Jetta is really mine and I no longer have to fear that first door ding, but on the other hand, what the hell? I know I wasn't the only car that got scraped by it, so I'm going to contact the bridge commission about it. However, I fully expect them to tell me to FOAD.

3. Earlier tonight, my microwave didn't want to work. The timer would start counting down, but the actual heating was not happening. This was distressing because my usual M.O. is that I cook my dinners for the week on Sunday, then re-heat them throughout the week. I unplugged the microwave for about an hour, and then by some miracle it was working once again. However, in the meantime I had already re-heated my dinner on the stove. I felt quite "Little House on the Prairie" about it. I was hoping that Pa would play his fiddle after dinner so we could all dance, but alas, that did not happen.

4. A good friend gave the kittehs an early Christmas present. It's hard to describe what it is, but it involves a lot of catnip, so they've been going crazy ever since I took their gift out of the box earlier tonight. And yet again, I find myself wishing that there was a plant called human nip. If you witnessed the effects of catnip, and then maybe read about what it does to them biologically, believe me, you'd agree...

5. I decided that I am not having any more birthdays. Nope. That's it. It's not that I don't want to get any older. I'm fine with that part. I mean, 40 isn't so bad when you believe you can still pass for 28. (Don't disagree with me! I need this!) However, every year since I've turned 30 someone has tried to shit on my birthday parade and ruin my day and I've had enough. However, I do reserve the right to change my mind before my next birthday. After all, I'll be 41 next year, which is a prime number, so I'll be in the prime of life! And then the year after that I will become the answer to life, the universe, and everything. And I reserve the right to change my mind because hey, I've got a right to be wrong. So just leave me alone...


Oh hey! That's five (5). Good night, my loves.