yadda yadda yadda, lobster bisque...

Thursday, people! THURSDAY! And on this Thursday it occurs to me that I could probably write blogs without the use of numbered lists or bulleted lists, but I like the way they make my random thoughts seem more orderly. Cool?

1. I really don't know how this is possible, but I believe I have another sinus infection. NOOOOOOOO!!! I had been doing so well and now this will be Sinus Infection # 3 since January. I guess I'll be calling the ENT tomorrow. Boo, hiss.

2. In an effort to cut costs, I switched from the Keurig back to my regular coffee pot with the built-in grinder (fancy!). However, I've discovered that the loud-ass coffee grinder scares the living shit out of poor little Luna. I thought this cat wasn't afraid of anything -- no matter who comes over, she will walk right up to them and demand attention while Clementine hides under the couch -- but the coffee grinder is on her list. The problem is that she doesn't want to go into the kitchen for an hour or so after hearing the coffee grinder so she won't eat her breakfast. This morning I used catnip to lure her into the kitchen. I hope that either she gets over this fear soon, or that I get a job and can switch back to the Keurig. I miss the hell out of that thing.

3. I have a big in-person interview on Monday. The recruiter who matched me with this job feels rather confident that it's a done deal, which I kinda hope it is because I hit it off well with the people who did my phone interview and I think it would be a fun place to work. Plus, the commute would be easy, I could keep my regular Zumba schedule, and it would be big bucks and no whammies. However, Monday's interview? I have to meet with five (5) different people in between 10:00 and 12:30. Yikes, that's a lot of interviewing! The office is right near a Chipotle, so I believe after the interviewS I will treat myself to a burrito bowl and then go home and chill.

4. If I don't get this job and none of my other "on the hook" jobs comes across soon, I am going to join the Irish Travelers and take to the open road. Unless I win the lottery, of course. Well, in that case I still may take to the open road, but I'm not becoming a Traveler.

5. It's time for sleep! Also, I'm getting a weird headache. Not from the sinus issues, though. It almost feels like a half-assed migraine. I am going to pop some aleve before bed and hope for the best!


Good night. Peace out, Girl Scouts!

life's been good to me so far...

No, I didn't blog yesterday. If you want a refund for the money you spent on yesterday's blog... oh wait! This bloggy goodness is free! No refunds, people. If, however, you'd like to send me wine and chocolate and Starbucks gift cards, you should go with that feeling.

So despite my recent crabbypants-ness, today things are looking up. 2012 is once again looking like my year of Good Things.

First, this morning I had a "coffee interview" with a headhunter. I was dreading this, partly because I'm tired of these meetings, partly because I was a crabbypants, partly because it was a meeting at the coffee part of the Barnes & Nobles. Weird. However, said meeting went very well, and this headhunter seems like a real go-getter, so sure, why not see what she can scare up for me? Until I have a job offer in hand, I'mma keep looking and looking and pounding the pavement.

After that, I rushed home to eat a quick lunch, which I couldn't even finish half of because job searching makes Seymour the Pouch feel all foofy and I'd rather go without lunch than unswallow my lunch in front of a recruiter. So instead, I slowly drank a protein shake while driving to Philadelphia. Again, I did not want to go on this interview (hmmm, perhaps there is a theme here...) but I was shocked because after I met with the recruiter people, I had a phone interview for a potential job, and that went very well. So well that they want me to go in on Monday for an in-person interview. It's a six month contract and if that goes well they'll hire me outright. Well, this is a pleasant turn of events, people. So now I have yet another good job "on the hook." I am still hoping and praying for a job offer very, very soon. People, PLEASE keep those good thoughts and prayers coming!

It's not really related to anything else I did today, but while I was driving I had a lot of time to think. I know that I have at least one more reconstructive surgery to do, and of course it's my choice what I should get done, although really, all of it is medically necessary. All along, I had thought that I would never get my arms done (or brachioplasty, if you want to know the real name of the procedure) but as of today, I have officially changed my mind. I've been thinking about it the last few weeks, especially as I have dropped so much more weight since my abdominal surgery. My arms are probably as toned as they're going to get (thank you very much, Zumba + strength training) but the excess skin isn't going anywhere and the more weight I lose, the worse I think they look. It's a little bittersweet realizing that I want to and need to get this done. I feel good about what I've been able to do, and I know that my dedication to working out has made a huge difference. I've seen people who have lost about half as much weight as I have with much worse looking arms because they never did any toning, so hey, they're not as bad as they could be. But then I also start thinking when am I going to feel like I look "normal" and feeling sad that the image in my head does not match what everyone else sees or what's in the mirror. But let's not open that economy-sized can of worms tonight...

Well, people, that's all I've got. Good night!

maudlin monday

I'm not feelin' it tonight, dawgs. I have a few things to say but I'm not promising that they'll be terribly cheerful. I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden.

- I am so tired of being unemployed, I can't even tell you. Yeah, after a year-plus of this it's really hitting me now. I'm fully aware that the day I left Former Employer, that was a one-way turnstile that I was using to exit (meaning that I would not go back there EVER EVER EVER) but there are times I wish I could go back and things would go back to being the way they used to be, like when I reported to the Onion or to my fun manager in Michigan.  Oh hell, while we're at it, I'd like to go back to being 29 years old and just beginning my job there.

- Why was it a one-way turnstile that I exited? Well, while I am mostly Irish, I am also part Sicilian and these sorts of moments are what brings out my Sicilian. I was loyal to that place, and what did I get in return for my loyalty? A check and a severance letter. It's kinda like that scene in Goodfellas when Paul Sorvino gives Ray Liotta a handful of money and tells him basically he never wants to see him again, and Ray Liotta is all "Thirty-two hundred dollars he gave me. Thirty-two hundred dollars for a lifetime. It wasn't even enough to pay for the coffin." Granted, my severance was exponentially a lot more than that, but that right there was the feeling.

- I had originally planned to take the day off from the gym but because of my poor mood I decided a run would do me some good, which it did. I realized while I was out that sometimes I really don't like the running, but the way I feel afterward? Holy shit, I love that feeling. I feel all-powerful and mighty and like I can do anything. Like you see me in that photo to the right there? That was on St. Patrick's Day, mere hours after I ran my very first 5k, and I think I look like I'm positively glowing. Also, I'm ridiculously proud of my sassy little hourglass figure in that photo. A few hours at the gym or out running in my little city are totally worth it if they help me look this good!

- Oh and I realize that photo isn't the greatest and you really can't appreciate me in all my sassy little hourglass glory, so hey, I'll do new photos soon.


Wow, I feel much less crabby now that I wrote all this. Thanks for listening, my loves. Good night.

weekend wrap-up woo hoo

Here are a few things you would have experienced and/or encountered this weekend if you were me. Which you're not. But I am!

1. Friday night firepit. It's now my goal to one day have a house and buy one of those firepit thingies to use outside. Actually, when I buy said house, if you're trying to think of a suitable housewarming gift, think firepit!

2. Saturday morning I went for a run (about 3.5 miles, per Google maps -- GO ME!) and after that I got into my little car and drove to Starbucks. I had a free drink card and wanted to use it to get a strawberry vivanno thingy with extra protein, it's a good breffis for yours truly. I also needed some coffee beans. Now, as I had just gone for a run, I was a sweaty, disgusting mess, wearing a very sweated-up under armour shirt along with one of my skirtsports skirts and a sweated-up headband. As I'm standing in line, the guy behind me starts chatting with me. "Oh you like the Komodo Dragon blend? What do you like about it? Oh, so you like dark coffee, huh? Do you like dark chocolate, too?" and since I do try to be friendly to the other humans, I chat with him too. Then, as we're waiting by the where-you-pick-up-your-drink area, he asked me for my phone number. Wait, what??? I told him I was flattered but that I'm already seeing someone.

So, ok, I am really bad at picking up on when a man is flirting with me. I'll admit that. Also, I get a lot more attention than I used to. But I did feel a little silly when I realized that he wasn't really asking me my opinion of the coffee, he was using the coffee-buying as an excuse to chat me up and ask me out. Men are such funny creatures, I have to say.

3. I worked some freelance web design magic. It was nice to actually create something once again. There's no way in hell I'd ever want to go back to being a codemonkey for a living, but once in a while, writing code is actually kind of relaxing.

4. I won't tell you what I did Saturday night, but it did involve having two glasses of Stella Artois. It was so perfectly cold that it reminded me of back in the day when I would go to a certain bar just over the border from St. Paul into Minneapolis, and drink schooners of Grain Belt Premium and eat salty popcorn with my girls. I don't know if I've mentioned this lately but I MISS MY GIRLS!!!

5. Last night I could. not. sleep. so around 2:30 I took a quarter of a sleep-aid-that-starts-with-an-A thinking that I'd still be able to wake up by 8:00, like I like to do. Wrong! My Sunday was a little off schedule and I've felt all day like I have a sleep-aid hangover, but there were some good things about being off schedule: LesleyMom made me an omelet after I went to the gym, and then while listening to the Pandora 50s rock-n-roll station we did a swing dance to "Little Bitty Pretty One", I took a half hour disco nap, played many rounds of Draw Some, and went to a fun Gregorian chant Mass this evening.

6. If you are playing Draw Some, start a game with me, would ya? And if you're not, oh you totally need to download Draw Some! You play it on your phone or iPad, and you draw pictures and the other player is supposed to guess what the picture is. I have laughed more at Draw Some this weekend than I've laughed at anything in a long time!


That's enough weekend wrap-up. It's Sunday night and I'm aware that I used to hate Sunday nights because it meant the weekend was ending and I had to go back to work. Then I hated them because I missed having a job to get ready for and a week to plan. Now I hate them because it just reminds me that tomorrow I'll be back to looking for a job and praying that I fucking find one before I run out of money and move into a storage unit with two cats. Prayers, positive thoughts, swinging chickens -- keep 'em coming, people! PLEASE!

Good night.

wait, what?

Do you ever get the feeling like you're looking around at your life and thinking "this is not what I ordered"? Yeah, um, me neither.

No new news on the job front. More calls and emails from recruiters and headhunters, but nothing solid yet. I'm happy that tomorrow is Friday because that means I get two whole days of not having to worry about looking for a job. I will, however, get two whole days of worrying about how I'm going to pay my bills and my eventual move to a storage unit with two cats. Oh wait, I mean, I know that all will be well. I know that most of the time, you see. Most of the time I'm Herculea (like Hercules except a girl) but then late at night sometimes it feels like Herculea has left the building.

I did get some slightly good news about my speeding ticket. I called the municipal court about a plea deal, who told me to call my insurance company and ask how my rates would be affected. So I called the gecko's local office and talked to a very friendly guy (who I think was kinda flirting with me) who said the fact that I haven't had a ticket in 20 years is in my favor so it should not affect my rates. He said that I could try going to court and getting it knocked down to a ticket with fewer points, but I said that I thought the cop was a real asshole and wouldn't agree to it. Insurance guy suggested that I go there and cry since men can't deal with a crying woman. Meh, I'm not sure about that. I may just pay the ticket and suck it up, but I have until Tuesday to decide. Meanwhile, today I got seven letters in the mail from seven different law firms all offering to represent me in traffic court. No, seriously, I did. I have no idea how they knew about this and got my address but it's a little scary. And their letters sucked. Go chase an ambulance, jackasses.

I had a funny experience at the gym today. On Tuesday, my friend D, whose class I took, told me that one of the trainers had asked her about me and what my story was and that she couldn't believe how good I look. This morning, while at my usual Thursday class, I saw this same trainer outside the window of the studio pointing me out to two other trainers and chatting with them, presumably about me. I waved to them and gave them a little shimmy. I'm generous like that, you know.

I have a busy busy weekend coming up, and thus I must sleep. See you Sunday night. Here endeth the Thursday blog.

it's you she's thinking of, and she told me what to say...

Good day, my little duckies. Another busy busy day. I'll bullet some of the highlights for you.

• Some creature is eating my pansies. My top suspects are skunks and feral cats, but I'm not sure if either of them would eat pansies. I don't think slugs would do any damage, but you never know. Maybe I'll put out some beer to trap the slugs. I have most of a six pack of a beer I can't stand so I might as well give it to the slugs. It's an IPA, which is gross. I prefer lager or a wheat beer, for those of you keeping score at home.
  


• Have you ever been in a situation which by all external indications should have you completely freaked out but yet you don't freak out because you have a deep-seated knowledge (or faith?) that all will be well? Because that is where I am right now. I've had a bad habit in the past of worrying needlessly so this is a pleasant change. I'm aware that there's a distinct possibility that I'm either naive or overly optimistic, but hey, I know what I know, and I know that all will be well.
  


• Earlier today I was listening to the classic rock station out of NYC while I was driving, and in between songs the DJ mentioned the breaking news that Tim Tebow is going to the Jets. And then, quite coincidentally I'm sure, "Sympathy for the Devil" came on. Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name.
  


• Tonight's dinner was chicken piccata. It kicked ass, and gave me yet another opportunity to flatten chicken while singing "It's Tricky." Why "It's Tricky"? I'm not sure, but it worked last week so I sang it again while beating the chicken with a can of beans. Last night's dinner was center-cut pork chops with maytag blue cheese glaze, and this kicked even more ass than the aforementioned piccata. Did you know that maytag blue is from Iowa? True story.
  


• I read a book about one of the aforementioned situations that should be (but isn't) freaking me out. I emailed the author with a question, and to my great surprise, she wrote back with some really helpful advice. This is part of why I love the internet. That and it gives me a place to sit down every night, write whatever random things I'm thinking, and then publish them. Like I just did. Booyah.

Good night, my dear ones. xxoo

although my views may be wrong, they may even be perverted...

Oh hey, the song in the subject there is now playing on my iTunes. The live version, actually, which is far superior to the original, even though it is kinda weird to hear someone singing a ballad with thousands of people screaming. And if you know what song that lyric came from, then you and I should be soulmates or something. Mind you, I don't believe in soulmates, but I'll make an exception here.**

I might as well warn you right now -- my ADD is outta control today so God only knows what's going to come out as I type. You've been warned.

Today was another odd day in the world o' job searching. I got some really weird feedback about an interview I'd had in January. Honestly, it pissed me off. And I got this call right before I had to leave my house and I was so distracted thinking about it that I was the only car who didn't see the goddamn speed trap up ahead, and guess who got her first speeding ticket in over 20 years? Yeah, this is just what I need. Do you know what a speeding ticket costs in my state? Once you add in the insurance surcharges, somewhere between $1,500 and $2,000. No, I'm not kidding, but I wish I were. So I will be going to court next week and pleading guilty to a different charge which will not add points to my license (and thus will not affect my insurance rates) but I will have to pay a hefty surcharge to the local court. LesleyDad went through this not that long ago, and he told them that this was basically state-sponsored extortion. He didn't think they knew what he meant, but hey, he's right.

Okay, that was a rather sizable tangent. So the weird feedback I got was bullshit. They said they didn't think my Microsoft Project skills were strong enough. Um, seriously? I was a subject matter expert in that at my former place of employment, and I've even worked the last year to keep my skills up in said product. Oh and what makes this even funnier (or more pathetic, you decide) is that I got this feedback from the third (3rd) agency/headhunter who's called me about placing me in this job. I told them that the person who gave this feedback wasn't even there for my interview, and that they should press for her to interview me in person as this would be my dream job and I could completely rock the casbah with it. So we'll see. Fortunately, this is not the only iron I have in the fire. I have two other very good jobs currently "on the hook" and now this one. A pair and a spare, as the Millionaire Matchmaker would say.

Late in the day, as I was outside working in my garden, I got a call about another job. It's yet another great opportunity but would I be willing to work in the city? As in The City, Gotham, the Big Apple, the city of my birth: New York, New York. Well, that's a lot to think about. It's a great opportunity and I'd be insane to not at least consider it. The office is mere steps from the exit of Penn Station, so as long as I caught an express train, the commute would be about 90 minutes door-to-door, which is really not bad. And they'd pay me a metric fuckton of money to do this job. Of course, it's a job that would start on a contract with an option to go permanent if we like each other, so I'd have an out if I hated the commute. And this company has a huge corporate office not too far from Chez Lesleygirl so maybe if I hated going to the city, they could find me something on the Jersey side. Like I said, it's a lot to think about. Like, a LOT. Especially since recent events in my life have pulled me more toward Pennsylvania than New York. But it can't hurt to at least interview there, I suppose. Even if it's just to work a six-month contract, it would be good to work again. I can do anything for six months, right?

See, this is why I need one of my "on the hook" jobs to make me an offer already. I mean, what's the holdup? I'm a great girl! Buy me a ring and ask me already! Make an honest woman of me!

The other job-searching weirdness is that my phone has been ringing off the hook with job inquiries. Why the sudden change? Well, last week a headhunter made me re-write my whole resume for him, and I took that revised resume and uploaded it to all the job sites I've been scouring. And now, I'm a hot commodity. Apparently this resume is a hell of a lot more popular than the one that the career transition seminar people wrote for me. Former Employer paid a lot of money for that career transition crap, so I thought they knew what they were doing. Interesting.

In other news... meh, there is no other news. Good night.

**Though things like this make me sick
in a case like this, I'll get away with it
and in a place like this, I'll get away with it
ahhh...
(Yes, same song. I like to be consistent.)

you and i just need a little patience...

Some observations, listed:

1. After three straight days of eating corned beef, I am retaining water like it's my job. That's one salty cured meat! I feel puffy, and my rings almost fit again (NB: I used to wear a size 8 ring, and these days I'm a 6, as they told me at Tiffany's). However, the corned beef fest isn't over: I had made a corned beef, potato and Irish cheddar fritatta, and I still have two servings left. I'm glad I have low blood pressure or all this sodium might worry me.

2. I need more patience. I know it's a virtue, but it's not a virtue I have all that much of.

3. I believe that my right knee and hamstring are mad at me for Saturday's 5k running. They're not as mad as they were, but they're still fussing at me about it.

4. The job search took a mighty crazy turn today. I'll explain later. If I write about it now I'll get angry. Yes, this is one of the situations for which I need patience!!!

5. I can't think of a fifth thing to talk about. So good night.

eight days a week...

I found out tonight that my oldest nephew doesn't like The Beatles because of the song "Eight Days a Week." He maintains that everyone knows there are only seven (7) days in a week, and everyone knows that. Well, everyone also knows that The Beatles are awesome! I threatened him with bringing a karaoke machine to his high school graduation party, and not just any machine, one loaded up with Beatles songs. That's fair, right?

This was an excellent weekend. Why? Oh, I'll write you a list!

1. Saturday morning, I ran a 5k. As in, RAN IT. Now, having told you that, I will say that more than a few people have made me cry by asking what my time was and whether that was a "good" time or not. People, let me break this down for you: Yours Truly, who used to weigh in excess of 400 and *cough* *cough* lbs, ran for three miles. And I ran the whole time, no walking or anything. And I ran even though I hit the wall around the 1.8 mile mark and started to curse everyone and everything. And I ran even though everything in me wanted me to stop. And I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran. I ran both night and day...

2. Once again, I concluded that I am truly the most optimistic person in the world. Why? Oh, I'd rather not say just why just yet, however I will say that I know what I know, and I won't go looking for problems where there are no problems. Cryptic? Perhaps. But all will be revealed later, my wee chickens.

3. Also? As MoSup once told me, I take the high road so often that it should be named after me. True story.

4. I'm a little sad that the weekend is ending. Most people are sad the weekend is ending because it means they have to go back to their job. Me, I'm sad because it's once again a reminder that I have no job to go to and have to keep looking for one. Oh people, please keep sending me positive thoughts, prayers and swinging chickens that I will find something SOON. This unemployment is soul-crushing.

5. Tonight as I was driving home, I heard one of my favorite songs on the radio. What made this unusual is that it's a song that I never, ever hear on the radio. It was "Distant Sun" by Crowded House. I'll admit, when I heard Neil Finn sing "I don't pretend to know what you want, but I offer love" I teared up. Of course, I also later teared up at the commercial with the two cartoon cats who are in a shelter and hoping that someone will adopt them. It made me wonder what would've happened to Clementine and Luna if I hadn't taken them in. Also, I tear up a lot, apparently, sap that I am.


Well, that's enough listing for now. Sister needs some sleep. Good night!

and so it goes...

I don't feel like blogging, no sir, no blogging today.

However, I need some girl time. Desperately. Where are my girls? I need you!

In other news... oh hell, there is no other news. Send me some positive thoughts and prayers and stuff, people. I could really use them right about now.

That's all.

'cause who's to worry if our hearts get torn...

Yeah, still with the David Gray songs. And not because of the Bachelor. It's because David Gray is awesome.

I feel like listing things today. So here you go!

Some Things You Would've Done Today If You Were Me (Which You're Not) (But If You Were):

1. Woke up to the discovery that Luna the naughty adolescent kitteh had stolen my rosary and stashed it in the cat bed. I guess now we know who's putting the "Cat" in "Catholic," hmmm?

2. Did some networking. Posted something sad on Google+. Not my finest moment of the day.

3. Went to my usual Tuesday-morning Zumba. LesleyMom was there too, as she usually goes to this class as well. For one song, we did a battle with the class split down the middle, and my friend D who was teaching asked me to lead one side while she led the other. One of the first battle moves was to charge at the other group while shimmying. I knew people would be impressed with my leading this move, since I'm an epic shimmy-er because I can move it like this and shake it like that, and well, also my cups runneth over. What I was not expecting was to hear a very familiar voice yell "You go, girl!" Yes, it was LesleyMom. Yes, I was shakin' it like a Polaroid picture in front of my mama. Thankfully, she's cool with it and encourages this behavior, however I'll admit I did have a moment of "I can't believe I'm doing this with my mom in the same room!"

4. Had a fabulous post-Zumba sushi lunch to celebrate a big birthday milestone for one of my Zumba girlfriends. I have to say, I will miss the hell out of my daytime Zumba friends when I go back to work. I wish I could win the lottery and not go back to work. Or something like that.

5. Talked on the phone with way too many headhunters. I mean, I love that they're motivated to find me a job because that's how they make their commission, but some of them have such a Used Car Salesman vibe. It makes me feel icky. Also, I think one of them was flirting with me, but you know I'm really bad at figuring these things out. And hey, homeboy can flirt with me all he wants as long as he finds me a cushy, high-paying job!

6. Went back for more Zumba. I needed it today. I had a crazy amount of energy to burn off! I've noticed that my stamina has returned to my pre-surgery level and beyond. I think a lot of that has to do with my training for an upcoming 5K. Plus, I've upped my strength training. I WORK OUT!!!

7. Went to Trader Joe's. I went there in my workout gear and I had sweated like a beast at Zumba so I'm sure I was lookin' mighty fine. But in my defense, I was wearing a very cute workout outfit -- black sportskirt with a pink & gray design, hot pink underarmour shirt, pink headband along with some eyeliner and big gold hoop earrings. Just because you're going to sweat like a beast doesn't mean you can't try to look cute, right? And yes, I always work out in a skirt. You see, before I fell in love with Zumba I had wanted to join the roller derby because I liked the idea of kicking someone's ass while wearing a skirt. I decided not to go with the derby, but the skirt? Oh yeah, I'm keeping that.

8. Came home, sauteed some spinach to go with my leftover chicken marsala, chatted with LesleyMom, watched New Girl, then watched the Friends marathon with one cat in my lap and the other on my shoulder. Jealous? You should be!


Yeah, that's enough of the list-writing.  Good night, my dears.

whisper words of wisdom

I have to say that I really do love the Beatles. I have since I was a wee girl, and some of my earliest memories are of playing Beatles records with my sisters. I loved "Penny Lane" in particular, around the time I was 3. Not sure why but I know I played the 45 a lot. Oh yes, we had it on 45. We were cool like that. Still are, actually.

But anyway, part of why I love them is they are so versatile that they have at least one song to fit pretty much every mood I have. And today, it's "Let It Be."



There will be an answer,
let it be.

all we need is just a little patience...

Oh that Axl Rose was so wise. However, I don't believe that I need just a little patience. More like lots and lots of it. And really, that's all I feel like saying about that. Talking more about waiting for job offers, among other things, quickly makes me fall down the rabbit hole of OMG WHAT IF I RUN OUT OF MONEY, NO ONE WANTS TO HIRE ME, and NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD, and then I start doing things like putting curses on my former employer, wishing that several people would in fact fuck off and die... in a fire, and wanting to hide under my dining room table and chew on my hair. No one wants that, right?

However, even though I sometimes get bogged down when I think of how bad things could seem at the present moment, there are several things which comfort me. And guess what I'm going to list them!

• Knowing that things could always be worse. Yes, I have my Irish upbringing to thank for this, however, it really helps me. I might be unemployed, but at least I'm not unemployed and destitute. Or unemployed and out of benefits. Or unemployed and ugly with a boring personality.
  
• Knowing that I am, in fact, a good person. I'm smart, I'm creative, I'm funny, I play well with others, and I'm told I make excellent chicken marsala, ricotta pie, sugar-free peanut butter cookies, giambotta, and maytag-blue cheese glazed pork chops. (NB: these were cooked individually and are not all part of one big meal!)
  
• Knowing that no matter what, there are quite a few people who have my back. I even have a multi-national girl gang! And that there are people who believe in me, and what good things for me, and are doing things like praying, sending positive thoughts, and swinging chickens for me.
  
• My faith that even though it's a tough job market out there, I am tougher! Honey, I'm tougher than the rest...

Well, that's enough listing for now. I don't know why I believe this, but I know that very soon things are going to be very good. 2012 is a year of good things. Very good things, even.

i've been waiting on my own too long...

Why yes, this week's blog theme is apparently David Gray Songs. Oh and waiting. Waiting is the other theme. I am not a fan.

Of course, there are many thoughts swimming around in this brain o' mine, but most of them are things I'd rather not blog about. Unless you want to hear me whine about how much I hate job searching, which I'm sure you don't because hell, even I'm getting tired of listening to me whine about it. I saw some job-search-advice segment on Good Morning, America today, and I was only half-paying-attention (I know! How unlike me!) but they were saying something about how bitterness against the people who laid you off can prevent you from finding a new job. Duuuuuude. I can so relate to that. I know I was bitter for a long, long time. But now? I'm over it. Like I built a bridge, and got over it. I miss certain coworkers (oh and they know who they are!) but other than that, I'm happy to have moved on with my life. Ok, so now that I'm no longer bitter, could I please just get a new job already? Pretty please?!!

In other news, I planted flowers today. It felt pretty good to dig in the dirt and make stuff look pretty. I took LesleyMom's advice and bought some pansies, since she said that they'd survive even if we got frost again. I guess pansies really aren't pansies after all. Oh and the late frost doesn't seem all that likely to happen, since it was 70 degrees today and all. I also bought a forget-me-not, but that was more of a corporal work of mercy. And a snazzy lavender heart wreath for my front door. Nice, right?

Good night, young ones. I must get some rest. These evil plots don't make themselves, you know.

(nearly) wordless wednesday

If you want it, come and get it
for crying out loud
The love that I was giving you was
never in doubt
Let go your heart, let go your head
And feel it now...

:-)

Good night.

the waiting is the hardest part...

I'm still waiting to hear about the job. Still. Waiting. Tom Petty was right, the waiting really is the hardest part. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart, the waaaaaaiting is the hardest part. I'm continuing to send out resumes and network while I wait. I'm also asking every saint I can think of to intercede on my behalf. Did you know that there's a patron saint of job seekers? It's St. Cajetan! He's been notified of my situation. Feel free to notify any saint or deity you wish about my situation as well!

Clementine has been very clingy the last few days. I'd like to think that it's her feline senses telling her that I'll be going back to work soon and out of the house a lot more, so she's trying to soak up all the love she can right now.

My sinuses are bothering me and I haven't done my taxes yet. I'm afraid to find out that I owe because then I will Have A Meltdown. I doubt that I owe, since I have a bunch of things I can deduct, but still, I'd rather not know just yet. I have a tradition of filing my taxes on 4/15 so why break with tradition? As for the sinuses, I have a 14 day course of amoxicillin. Bring on the yogurt!!!

I decided today that I'm going to write my own dating advice book. I mean, enough other people have written books so why not me, right? Mine will be about how to refrain from trying to manage the relationship when you're a take-charge kind of woman. I'm probably not saying that very eloquently but you get the general idea. I have a tendency to want to plan five steps ahead and manage every conceivable risk, which makes me brilliant as a once-and-future project manager, but can make your dating life pretty rough. Having said that, at least I'm aware of this and I've been able to talk myself through it and not go crazy. And yes, I am happy!

Time for sleep. I need to rest up so I can rid myself of this sinus crud. Tomorrow I plan to get in a killer workout (sinus issues are no excuse from the gym -- as long as it's from the neck up and there's no fever, I'm going!) then I'm getting a haircut, then meeting one of my besties for coffee. Keeping a full schedule of fun things keeps me from going crazy from all the waiting!

Good night.

i don't care if monday's black, tuesday wednesday, heart attack...

Another list. Why? Why not!

1. No, I haven't heard about the job yet. The vigil continues. I am doing my Lesley bestest to be patient, but oh is it difficult!

2. I posted this quote on Facebook this weekend, and now I'm posting it here, too:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

3. The above quote puts into words a lot of what I'm feeling right now. As much as the vulnerability of a new relationship scares me, not being open to love scares me more. And when I think about it, I can live with the vulnerability and feeling scared from time to time. I'd rather live with those than live with regret over not having taken a chance when I should have.

4. Another thing running through my mind is that I can't measure my life, my accomplishments, or my relationships with anyone else's yardstick. My journey is my own. I did it my way. It's my life and it's now or never. Yeah.


Ok, that's four (4). Good night!

turning in my sleep, love can leave you cold...

End of the weekend, people! I can only handle a list right now. The ADD is in high gear.

1. It's actually much later than the timestamp would indicate. I couldn't get my checking account to balance in Quicken, so I figured maybe if I started reconciling statements that would help. Except I hadn't done that since October 2009. Two hours later, and I found my error (I had automated an entry that I shouldn't have automated). Plus I have a small sense of accomplishment.

2. Tomorrow morning I'll resume my vigil of waiting for a call about the job I interviewed for last week. Please, please, PLEASE keep sending those good thoughts and prayers, people!!! Not only do I want this job and think that I could do very well with it, but there's nothing quite like balancing your checkbook to remind you that you NEED TO GET A JOB. God help me.

3. I hate when people complain about the rising cost of gasoline. Either get a more efficient car or drive less. Fortunately for me, I haven't bought gasoline in almost 9 years. Why? Because I drive a diesel, and diesel is not gasoline. Yes, the price of diesel is up, but at 50 miles per gallon, I'm not too worried. Plus, the fact that I get about 600 miles per tank makes me forget how much I paid the last time, so I don't really notice the prices all that much. I do know that at one point in 2008 I was paying $4.87 per gallon, but such a thing is a small price to pay to drive a car as sweet as my Beetle!

4. My throat hurts. Did one of you cough while visiting this blog or something? Please! Keep those germs to yourselves, people!

5. Tomorrow is the birthday of my nephew (and fellow third kid), B. At his birthday party today I discovered that not only is B taller than me, which he's been for a while since he's 14 and all, but his younger brother Baby Kangaroo? HE'S TALLER THAN ME TOO! And he's 11! At least I'm still taller than LesleyMom or else I'd be the shortest person in my family. Crazy.

Okay, that's enough listy goodness. Sister has to get up early!

you make the moon our mirrorball, the street's an empty stage...

That line is from "Mirrorball" by Elbow. You should really listen to that song, and in fact download the whole album. Unless you hate awesome, that is. It was recommended to me by a friend, and I have to say that I'm in love with the lead singer's voice. Like I want to get naked and make sweet, sweet love to it. Oh... did I say that out loud?

Moving on...

Tonight I am more convinced than ever that 2012 is my YEAR OF GOOD THINGS. And that's all I'm saying about that. Don't stop believin' and all that. Oh wait, that's a whole new song, albeit one you most likely already know.

Also tonight, my abs are killing me. Shooting nerve pain and tylenol is about as effective as a tic-tac on it. I may need to pull out the big guns before bed. And the heating pad too. It's been three months but I still get pretty swollen sometimes and the heating pad seems to be the only thing that gives relief from that.

Good night, my lovelies.