Thursday, May 16, 2013

funk

I'm not even going to go through the formality of acknowledging that it's been a long time since I've blogged. I mean, sure, it's been a long time. I've been one poor correspondent. I've been too too hard to find. But it doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind...**

**That particular song is in my personal top forty. If you like it, too, then we might be soulmates.

You know what sounds like a whole lot of fun? Funk! You know what's actually not fun? Being in a funk. True story. As I've mentioned before, I realized I've been in a bit of one for a little over two years now. It's not really any one thing, I'm just really tired of things not working out. And then I get melancholy and think I hate my job, I hate my house, I hate my car, I hate everything! But really, that's not me. It's the funk talking.

However, the funk does not get the last word. I do. And I think that's why I need to get myself back to writing on a regular basis. It's my cheap therapy, after all. Besides, I like having a venue to say things. And on that note, I have to say that I am flattered at how fiercely loyal you people are. I mean, I haven't written in weeks, and yet around 100 of you stop by every day. *sniff* You like me! You really like me!

I used to do this thing where I'd list all the things that were making me happy that particular day. I'm sort of going to do that now, but it'll be more of a list of things that are NOT all funked up in my life. Happy reading.

Not Funked Up List

1. I look better at age 40 than I did at 30. Or even 25, for that matter. I've lost more weight than most of you reading this will ever even weigh (yeah, um, wrap your mind around that one, people) and even better, I have kept it the fuck off. Some days it's a struggle, I'm not going to lie. When I feel stressed out or just melancholy, I find myself craving sugar and I have to talk myself out of it like I've seen movie people talk themselves out of relapsing on their drug of choice. I guess for me, sugar is my cocaine.

2. I've recovered rather nicely from my reconstructive surgeries. We had a little bump in the road this week, and I won't bore you with the details, but it involved cellulitis and my right boob, let's just say. I am a couple days in to a round of antibiotics, so yay, getting better. I still have a lot of moments when I look in the mirror and think "Wait... what?" but those are getting to be fewer. The best part about this second round of surgery is that I can finally actually see the change in myself. Previously, I would look in the mirror and still see 400 lbs, and think people were lying to me when they said I looked good. Now I look in the mirror and think "ohhhh, now I can see why someone might find this attractive." And then I'll do a little dance. Usually a cumbia. And if you've ever seen my cumbia, you know what a treat that is.

3. I have an awesome family and awesome friends. Even my felines are pretty awesome, too.


That's three, and it's actually quite a bit. I need to ease back in to this blogging thing, you know.

2 comments:

Jenn from WA said...

I wonder if this funk is contagious? I've been feeling it too, though mine is directly related to the job. Ugh. Kittens do help a lot. I get to go home and be surrounded by unconditional love.

BTW - you look awesome!!!

Lesley said...

The kittehs really do help a lot. The funk may have been contagious, but now I really feel like I'm going from funked up to fabulous, and I really hope the fabulous is contagious, too! :)

And thank you for the compliment!